Have you lived before this life? it is an unusual book. Not because it is reporting past life type phenomena. Past lives have been reported by people for thousands of years around the world. Many religions are based on this phenomenon. Where we go after death has been the subject of debate on dinner tables, in hallways, and in print newspaper columns. It is unusual because it contains so many past life case histories of ordinary people.

This book by L. Ron Hubbard was first published in 1959 after he gave a conference of many lectures in London on the subject. Here the subject of past lives came up again and again. Here the students were learning to hone their technical advice, called auditing. For the audit to work effectively, it appears that the receiver must be made to access memory of past lives. It would also seem that one’s problems in this life do not begin at the beginning of this life, but go earlier and earlier, much earlier. This concept only differs from the Indian concept of reincarnation in that, according to Scientology experience, man does not cross species from man to another species.

Scientologists are helped with the electronic e-meter that measures thought. The counselor can then quantify and measure the trauma, either in this life or in a previous one. Also, the meter can find thoughts that would otherwise be hidden from view. Furthermore, when a person being counseled talks about the experience that he is seeing in memory, the accusation follows. This looks as good as it is measured. The meter finally shows when the charge has been depleted and the counseling session is over.

The book Have you lived before this life?? has 42 case histories of people who experienced previous lives during the audit. This is the only thing about this book. The counseling sessions were written down and the problems the person had before the sessions, as well as the details of the session and what was handled by reviewing past memory, are all in the book. The case histories of what was revealed in the sessions can go back hundreds of years or even thousands. It is a fascinating read.

The book has no problems and the stories it contains are those told by those who went through the experience. Scientology counselors do not tell a person what to think or what to find, so what comes to mind for the person being counseled is exactly what is discussed in the session. The book reads like a very interesting read as a result of this approach.

The book also has some excellent essays by L. Ron Hubbard on the subject of past lives and is recommended for those who have audited Dianetics and been in contact with past lives.

The dust jacket says: “Is death an end or a new beginning?”

There are various ways in which humans apply art to the body, these are called Body Art. Body art is made for aesthetics, status or identity. Some cultures adopt one and criticize the rest, or sometimes adopt a fair share of one and condemn its “overuse.” Body art includes piercings (for the purpose of wearing jewelry or other adornments), tattoos, marks, and scarifications. I will cover ‘Body Piercing’ in this article.

I still don’t get the unfair criticism from Body Piercing. We express ourselves in different ways. I come from the Yoruba tribe in Nigeria, a place where practically all women get their ears pierced, mainly from birth. And in this same society, nose piercing is considered a sign of rebellion. I think nose piercing is cool, but actually, not all of them make sense to me, not even ear piercing. I was in a meeting some time ago and saw a woman who was probably in her 50s with her ears pierced in about 5 different places each. He adorned his ears with beautiful jewels. It was a beautiful sight, I must confess. But in that same meeting, I could see that some people were looking at her with disdain. I don’t know if they were irritated by the fact that it was ugly or just felt that it was wrong to have their ears pierced in more than one place.

Have you heard of Los Taínos? It is a beautiful group of islanders in the indigenous Colon.

“The islanders were friendly and open to trade with Spanish sailors. They exchanged anything for anything: spun cotton balls, parrots and spears for glass beads, red caps and sailors’ trinkets. Most interesting for explorers, However, it was the fact that the islanders had small pieces of gold pierced into their noses. Furthermore, they told Columbus that the inhabitants of other islands wore gold bands on their arms and legs. They also described countless islands, all as theirs, believing they had reached the Indies, they soon called all the islanders Indians. ” -Microsoft® Encarta® 2009.

This is just to show that a body piercing does not affect a person’s behavior, therefore stereotypes against body piercing are unreasonable and without foundation. The next time you see a person with a body piercing, unreasonable as it may seem, the worst thing to do is keep your mouth shut.

If you see me with a pierced body, it’s not just the piercing process that hurts, your words go through me too.

Many codependents are in abusive relationships with addicts or people with mental illness. Symptoms of codependency foster dysfunctional dynamics in these relationships, which in turn worsens symptoms of codependency. This makes sense when we consider the definition of codependency and that codependents have a “lost self” as their thinking and behavior revolve around another person.

Due to dysfunctional parenting, codependents have lost touch with their ability to respond to their internal cues. They have come to believe that they are inferior and that what they feel, think, need and / or want is not important. This is your hidden shame. As a result, they have the unconscious belief that they do not deserve to be loved simply for who they are, but that they have to earn love. This causes basic insecurity and fear of being abandoned.

Codependency originates in childhood, including core symptoms of shame (including low self-esteem, denial, dependency control, including caring, dysfunctional communication, and dysfunctional boundaries. How these traits set the stage for Painful relationships is explained in Conquering Shame and Codependency.

Role codependency in relationships

Because many codependents have withdrawn from their feelings, the drama of an intimate relationship with someone addicted or with a mental disorder can be energizing or familiar if their childhood was similar. Additionally, addicts and people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are often charismatic and romantic. They can be seductive and shower their codependent partner with compliments, promises and gestures of love. Codependents crave love and connection, and being desired makes them feel kind. But their dependency and low self-esteem make them susceptible to seduction and they mistake romance for real love.

Codependents deal with the fear of criticism, rejection, and abandonment by giving, understanding, pleasing, and helping. Your partner defines the relationship, and they agree to get along and keep it. They admire a narcissist’s boldness, conviction, and perceived strength (qualities that they themselves lack) and enjoy a supportive role and feeling cared for. With addicts and people with BPD, they often play the role of helpers and caregivers. For the codependent, feeling needy feels like love. It increases their self-esteem and assures them that they will never be abandoned. However, addicts and people with NPD and BPD feel deep shame and project their inner demons onto the very person who loves them and is trying to help them.

The reactive role of codependents amplifies their focus on their partner, while hiding who they are. They try more and more to control the uncontrollable, they sacrifice and try harder to please and be accepted. Although at first they were idealized, now they are devalued. A person with BPD vacillates between idealizing-loving behavior and devaluing-rejecting behavior. Instead of acting needy like someone with BPD, people with NPD act unnecessarily and can be remote and emotionally cold. Some may show sympathy towards their partner, while others are continually critical and dismissive. The more retained or inconsistent that love, the more codependents try to conquer it, falling into the trap of giving their self-esteem and sense of well-being to their partner. They never feel good enough, reinforcing their hidden shame.

How Abusive Relationships Make Codependency Worse

This unspoken contract works for a time because codependents provide security and stability to an addict or emotional and insecure partner with BPD and provide warmth and connection that a partner with NPD is lacking. But due to their own insecurity and weak boundaries, codependents absorb the blame, blame, and shame of the abusers. They feel powerless to help and satisfy their partner, guilty of the “mistakes” of which they are accused and resentful that their efforts are unappreciated and fail. As the relationship deteriorates, so does the codependent’s sense of self.

All symptoms of codependency contribute to the dysfunctional relationship, which if left untreated, worsens over time. As codependents get further away from themselves and enter the later stages of their illness. The very traits that made the relationship work became its undoing.

The dynamics in abusive relationships increase the stress of codependents and increase their attempts to appease and help their partner. The reality of the addict or individual with a personality disorder also begins to infect the self-concept and perceptions of the reality of codependents. Their self-esteem is lowered and they become more anxious and exhausted as they try to ease a crisis, avoid abuse, and keep the relationship together.

By trying to adapt and control another person to make them feel better, codependents stray away from real solutions. They have the mistaken belief that they are responsible for their partner’s feelings and needs, while ignoring theirs. Your behavior reinforces your partner’s false belief that you are to blame and responsible for your addiction and pain. The longer codependents do, the worse things get. Both deny their own pain and prevent their partner from taking responsibility for their behavior, needs, and feelings and from getting help. This is called “habilitation.” Denial of codependents blinds them to the fact that their beliefs and behavior contribute to their unhappiness and that they have options for change.

Changing the dynamics in abusive relationships

The answer is to do the opposite of what is natural for the codependent. I write from my personal and professional experience. It is difficult, really impossible, to change the dynamics in abusive relationships without outside support.

The first and most important thing is to see another vision of reality, because couples isolate themselves and become confused by the attacks, threats and the skewed reality of addicts or people with BPD or NPD. It is important to learn all you can about addiction and these disorders, as well as codependency. Change doesn’t really begin until partners focus on their own recovery, not on changing the other person, over whom they are essentially powerless. That doesn’t mean they don’t have power or options, but it’s about their own actions and lives.

Learning about addiction, BPD, and NPT and accepting these truths on a deep level allows them to detach and not react to what someone else decides to throw at them just because they feel uncomfortable in their own skin. They begin to realize that although their words may hurt, they are not true. Separation does not require leaving or staying distant. It is like having an invisible protective force field. Instead of reacting, they learn to honor what they need, feel, and want. They seek to meet those needs of safe and understanding people. As their self-esteem grows, they learn to be assertive. His

limits improve and ask for what they want and limit what they don’t want.

This is not easy, but its value increases in recovery. They may become strong enough to leave or insist that our partner receive treatment. Even if they don’t, they find that their lives are happier, because they have taken over their own self-esteem and sense of well-being.

Raising a child with BPD or NPD

Because codependents lack communication skills and limits, parents react to their troubled children in vain. Your child has been used to meeting demands and running the program, often without any responsibility. All children need limits with consistent consequences, especially those with NPD and BPD. Sometimes parents explode in frustration, making them feel guilty and embarrassing their children. To compensate, they might give in on a limit that makes things worse. Punishment and consequences should never be administered in anger, but in a practical tone, and ideally should relate to the offense; for example, “If you throw food away, you must clean it (or leave the table).”

Children need support and their feelings reflected, but not pleased. They especially need to be taught empathy and the impact of their behavior on others. It is important to model this and respect their feelings. Let them know that their actions affect other people in positive or counterproductive ways. For example: “How would you feel if your friend stole your toy? Would you feel hurt or angry? What happens when your friend shares a toy? When you take the toy from your friend, he will not want to play with you.” Children with BPD need to learn techniques to calm themselves and be guided to take gradual steps toward independence and self-reliance.

Parents underestimate the power and influence they have to insist that their child behave, receive counseling, complete household chores, or seek employment. They are often afraid that their child with BPD will die or kill himself. Their fears make them easier to manipulate. By not reacting, children will find that their manipulative tactics no longer work. However, it takes great courage for parents to stand their ground. It is not easy to stay calm and love a child who constantly disobeys, threatens, and says mean things. External support is essential. If addiction is involved, find an appropriate meeting for family members of substance abusers.

© 2019 DarleneLancer

Watching “sitcoms” on television, I can’t help but notice that most plots revolve around the same theme: someone is afraid to tell the truth to someone else. We saw it in the years when Ross loved Rachel, Niles loved Daphne, or George hated Susan. We saw it in pretty much every episode of Three’s Company.

Why do we hide the truth from people? It’s usually for one of the following reasons (or a combination): we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, we’re afraid the other person will be angry with us, or we don’t want to feel ashamed.

What are the main consequences of not speaking up and telling the harsh truth? It keeps us trapped in unsatisfying situations like jobs, relationships, and other life circumstances. Here are some others:

~ Someone thinks you understand something that you don’t

~ Someone thinks you agree with something you haven’t done

~ Someone thinks you are going to do something and you are not

~ Someone thinks you did something and you didn’t

~ Someone does not know that you love him and you do

~ Someone thinks you love them and you don’t

~ Someone does not know what you are capable of

~ Someone believes that you are capable of something that you are not

How do you know when it’s time to tell the hard truth? From that first annoying feeling in the stomach that something in the situation is not right. Because there is no bad time to tell the hard truth.

5 ways telling the hard truth is good for your self-care:

1. You deepen your relationships. Social support is a very important element of self-care. When you assume that someone can bear to hear the harsh truth, it usually rises to your expectations. When you learn to speak the hard truth in a relationship, you can be yourself in that relationship.

2. You lose stress. Hiding the truth and / or living a lie is very stressful! Telling the hard truth is the antidote.

3. You feel better about yourself. When you’ve done something brave like telling someone the harsh truth, you’re sending yourself the message that you might be able to do OTHER difficult things.

4. You create evidence that your own thoughts make you suffer: Look at an experience in which you spoke the hard truth and see that it was the anticipation of telling it that generated your worry and stress. Things that had not happened and may never happen, things that you were creating in your own mind. And reality rarely lives up to our dreaded expectations.

5. You can learn from the hard truth. Has anyone ever told you a harsh truth? Use it as a way to deepen your relationship or to improve something about the situation or yourself. Thank the person and acknowledge their courage for speaking the harsh truth.

Who do you need to tell a harsh truth to? What harsh truths have you been avoiding telling yourself?

(c) Copyright 2005, Genuine Coaching Services.

Have you ever wondered what life is like for your pets who have passed away on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge?

Many of you have heard of the Native American legend that when they die they go to the rainbow bridge and all the animals they have had a relationship with will be on the other side and they will decide if they are allowed to enter or not.

Native Americans revered animals and whenever they killed one, they would always do a prayer ceremony and use every part of the animal to survive. Nothing was wasted and they often took the name or felt that the animal was part of them.

In today’s world, we love our animals for their sweet personality and dedication. When one of our pets dies, a part of us goes with it. Although we do not see or experience life in spirit, as long as we have an animal in spirit, we will be connected to the life of the rainbow in spirit.

Everything I talk about I have lived personally. So sometimes I give names to things that may not be what others call them, but again it comes from what I have seen or experienced. I learned several decades ago how to astral projection and I often immerse myself in spirit. I am going to visit and see my loved ones, humans and animals, and to visit the loved ones of my clients.

Everything I present here comes from my own experiences communicating with deceased pets, including my own, and from my travels to the spirit world.

Animals and our loved ones reside in a space where they can interact with each other and are simultaneously able to observe and visit us.

The best way to describe the other side “Heaven” or “the other side of the Rainbow Bridge” is to imagine it as a world without life or death.

All animals live in peace and harmony with each other. It is like the statement in the Bible about the lamb lying with the lion. There are no fights because there is a perfect peace. Their special guardian angels provide everything they need. They have their own special little places to be. They are not obligated to do anything other than enjoy their spiritual life. The vibration in the spiritual world is so intense that you see objects vibrating with colors beyond our dimension.

Your pet is there having a great time and young and healthy once again.

They visit you frequently and their love for you will never die. They know you love them and they see you cry and cry for them. When they really want you to see the wonderful place they are in. If you could see it through their eyes, you would cry with joy. Talk to your pet and ask him to show you where he is. You may see this in a dream, but trust that the spirit world allows you to see the beauty of life over the rainbow bridge.

While it may seem far away, it really does appear to be here, simply vibrating at a different frequency.

Many people have experienced being in this other world by dying and being able to return. Countless experiences have been documented through medical and other means.

Throughout my life, my closest relationships have been with animals. I was always able to communicate with them and they with me. As my spiritual gifts developed, I found that I was able to communicate with the deceased. I first began to communicate professionally with deceased human loved ones. Then I started communicating with the deceased pets and found that it was more natural and easier for me.

One of the first channelings I did for someone was for their rabbit that had passed away. I was amazed at how much the bunny communicated and how happy it made their human father to know that they were well cared for in the spirit world.

Over the next several months, I would connect with animals that had passed away. I discovered that living animals can also communicate telepathically.

Animals that have passed away can interact with our other animals that have passed away, as well as our human beings loved in spirit. It doesn’t matter if they never met in person.

Three years ago, my beloved cat Isis passed away and I accompanied her to the spirit and we stood at the entrance to the Rainbow Bridge. On the other side I could see my father holding my dog ​​Julia, whom he had loved so much. Isis had never met my father, but when she saw him she ran to him across the bridge and jumped onto his other arm. The three of them stayed on the other side of the bridge looking at me as if to say that we will be here when their time comes.

Animals that remain with us physically can see and interact with those that have passed away, yet they will still mourn the loss of physical presence even though they can connect with the spirit of deceased animals.

A dear friend of mine caused a cat of hers to pass away and she wanted to know if her other cats were still seeing it. I asked his cat Roscoe if he missed the other cat Frankie. Roscoe replied, “No, because I still see and talk to him.”

Some of the most common questions I get asked are the following:

Can my animals, who are still here, see my animals that have passed?

The answer is yes

Can my animal come back to me through reincarnation and spend another life with me?

Usually the answer is no, it seems that our previous loved ones want to stay in the spirit until we can join them. This allows everything to return to the starting point so that all parties involved can have closure. Animals are the pure essence of love and do not have a karmic debt to pay. They usually don’t return, and if they do, we may not connect with them. Many people will say that they are sure that their current pet is the reincarnation of the previous one. Usually, it is the deceased pet who communicates to the new pet what he remembers and what we, his parents, like and know.

However, many times our past animals will influence the behavior of our new animals or those they left behind and it is possible that we pick up small fragments of their personality. In other words, it is possible for a new animal to channel the behaviors of a deceased animal.

I am often asked if animals that have passed away will be jealous of new animals brought into the house.

No way. What I hear is that your deceased animals are happy when you are happy, and they don’t want to deny another animal the joy of living with you. This is especially true with animals that were adopted from shelters and rescued from difficult situations.

Animals that have passed are capable of seeing, hearing and feeling whatever we go through.

I am often asked “Does my animal still hurt?” and when they leave the physical body behind, the spirit is free from pain. However, they may experience emotional pain when they see our unhappiness over their passing. The more at peace we are with their passing, the easier it will be for them to be around us in spirit.

Many people I talk to feel responsible for the death of their pet. This is not true. If you took your pet to the vet for health problems and the vet tells you that the pet needs surgery or some other treatment, you are choosing what is correct at the time. If your pet passes away during the procedure, you will not be angry or blame him because you acted in good faith and are doing what you thought was right to prolong his life. What is really important is what the intention was.

Sometimes people ask me if their move from the house the animal was familiar with will cause them to stay in the old house or if they will get lost trying to find their new home.

Once an animal passes, they are as mobile as they want and can cover great distances with little to no effort. Connecting with you in your new home is not a challenge for them. They will not be left behind in their old home.

Euthanasia is often difficult for the parents of a pet. Nobody wants to lose someone they love, but if your pet is hurting, the right thing to do is to let it enter the spirit. Don’t feel guilty if you have to put your animal to sleep. You have allowed them to be free again! They are their young men who are healthy in spirit and they will appreciate you sending them for free. Don’t feel guilty.

Life on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge is beautiful and heavenly. It is part of heaven / spirit and there is no way your pet cannot be happy in this lovely environment. Remember that they will be there to greet you when you pass. They will never forget you because you were the love of their life.

With so many options available on the market, how can you decide which are the best watercolor brushes? First, watercolor is a transparent medium. It continues in thin layers of color and allows the white paper to act as a source of white light for your tones. How you want to place those colors is both a personal choice and a functional device. So you want the feel and comfort of the brush to help guide your decision.

From a practical perspective, you want a brush that loads well with paint to eliminate the need to constantly dip the brush in paint or water. You want a brush made from natural hair that has a nice “belly”, wider in the center, that tapers to a good point. Some natural hair does it better than others. The best, in my opinion, is the pure Kolinsky saber. Its large belly and long, sharp hairs retain a lot of fluid. These hairs, in the best brushes, come only from the hairs on the male’s tail. So for a truly fabulous watercolor painting experience, splurge on a Kolinsky sable brush at some point. These are the best brushes for watercolor. But note that the pure Kolinsky saber was banned in 2014. The pure red sable sable is no longer available. Hence, today’s Kolinsky saber comes from the tails of Siberian weasels. Still, they are fine brushes.

You can certainly find good watercolor brushes without having to go out of your way for pure Kolinsky. These are squirrel, goat, horse, and “camel” to name the rest of the natives. Then there are synthetics like nylon, silicone, and fake this or fake. Try as many as you can until you find what works best for you and your personal style. By the way, you saw earlier that I put camel in quotes. This is because camel hair brushes are made from the hair of other creatures such as a horse, goat, or squirrel. Also, many times these mixed hair brushes are simply marketed as natural hair brushes. There is also ox, which comes from inside the ears of cows. Sabeline is ox hair that has been bleached and then dyed to look like red sable.

Other considerations when buying brushes include a well-made ferrule (the metal thing that holds the hairs in), short or long handle (watercolorists often prefer the short one), and handle material (wood or plastic). The ferrule must be attached, as well as the hairs, with waterproof glue. The handle should seal well if it is made of wood.

Your brushes will last for many years if you buy good quality and take good care of them. One more tip: brushes last much longer if you always pull and never push them on the paint surface.

There are several brands of good quality brushes. At better art supply stores, you can find Winsor & Newton, Grumbacher, Princeton, Simmons, and Liquitex, to name a few.

At our store in Hamilton, Ohio, you can see many of these brushes and touch them before you buy.

Spirit of the Dark Moon

astral world traveler.

Magician master

a seer of the secrets of the night.

Metaphysical meaning

Astral travel, spiritual, secret, silent, elegant, courage, connected to the moon, lonely, feminine, ancient mysticism, the old woman (wise old woman), guardian energy, power and strength, god of darkness, courage, old soul, recovery Power, Higher Telepathic Communication, Lonely, Visionary, Shape Changer, Sensuality, Distant Healing, Fearless, Alchemy, The Goddess, Self Empowerment, Shaman Symbol.

Spiritual symbolism

Panther heralds a time to awaken and elevate the inner passions that fuel our own personal life force. Panther medicine amplifies all the senses and redirects our psychic spiritual energy, to create a highly focused manifestation, seen by others as personal power and magic. The panther spirit symbolizes settling into oneself, feeling comfortable with oneself and generating great personal power. Panther allows us to recognize our own personal sense of purpose in life and develop a strong spiritual understanding of why you are here.

A Black Panther may be smaller than lions and tigers, but they are the most powerful aggressors with superior talent. Panther asks us to look deeply into our dark feminine side, our fears, secrets and subconscious. If we learn to be comfortable with our dark side, it will bring healing light to our hidden sides. The path of the hero is undertaken by the panther spirit.

Animal Totem / Spirit Guide

Panther spirit people encourage others in positive ways through their own zest for life and the pursuit of making one’s dreams and wishes come true. Panther reminds us to release our fears, acknowledge our own power, and accept our dark shadows. Panther helps honor your own feelings. The panther spirits have contained in them, the knowledge of the cosmos and other worlds, communicating with beings on an astral level.

Out-of-body experiences accompany Panther as your spirit guide, his medicine is extremely powerful, magically transferring it to you, allowing a state in which astral travel is not only achievable, but also controllable. Panther spirits have a healing element behind the look in their eyes, giving way to telepathic healing. On the other hand, the gaze of a panther is paralyzing, slightly hypnotic and will instill the fear of death within whoever looks at it. Panther spirits are often prophets and healers with a universal vision.

Mythology from around the world

The Native American Indians, the Tucano of the Amazon, thought that the roar of the panther was the roar of thunder. It symbolizes the black panther as the god of darkness who causes eclipses by swallowing the sun. In Egyptian mythology, the panther is related to the old woman at the crossroads, Hecate. In China, panthers were embroidered on the dresses of generals in the belief that the bravery and ferocity of panthers would be passed on to the wearer.

Inside the Egyptian Book of the Dead, King Pepi must cross the roof of heaven wearing his panther skin. Placing the skin on his shoulders symbolized that he had eliminated his desires for the earthly realm and his materialistic energy.

How do you know if Panther is necessary in your life or is your spirit guide?

If you feel like you need to protect someone in your life right now, the spirit of the panther is on the prowl, offering to help. For Panther to come to you in your dreams is a strong message that he wants you to observe his medicine. Panther nightmares or terrifying dreams are not negative, it simply means that you are not accepting or clearly seeing your true self. Being passionate about panthers is a sign that you have a connection to her. Unknowingly receiving a panther image or ornament is a sign of its presence and a spiritual message to study its magic.

Narcissistic mothers and enabling fathers

When the kids don’t stand a chance

Narcissistic mothers don’t have children for the right reasons. They are not caretakers. They have no maternal instincts or genuine love to give. For the narcissistic mother, children represent a captive narcissistic supply. Because the survival of a young child is in her hands, she hopes to be the number one object of his utter adoration. She dismisses the fact that children have needs, anticipating that the constant stream of narcissistic supply she will receive in return will be the perfect compensation.

The narcissistic mother does not imagine that her children will be separate entities with needs of their own. But children have individual needs, and those needs can be quite demanding for any mother. They are especially overwhelming for a narcissistic mother who now finds that she is giving in more than she receives. That is not what I expected.

The narcissistic mother feels resentful of her children and their need. This resentment intensifies your already natural tendency toward abusive behavior. Someone will have to pay for your unfortunate situation. Your innocent children are your possessions, so you can do whatever you want with them. What she likes is using them as scapegoats for anything that makes her feel unhappy or frustrated.

Any attempt by children to question her, defend themselves, or express their needs is met with terrifying narcissistic rage. Over time, with the same results every time they challenge her in some way, children learn to follow her rules. They are intimidated by fear into keeping quiet.

Where is the father while all this is happening? What are you doing with the abuse you see your children suffer at the hands of their mother? Logic tells us, given the circumstances, that children should trust their father for their emotional well-being. Surely someone has to love, protect and defend them. A father, the protector of the family, certainly would not stand aside and allow his children to be abused.

That’s what logic tells us, but it rarely works that way when it comes to NPD. A strong man with limits and high self esteem would have walked away from this crazy woman a long time ago and hopefully he would have taken her children with him.

But a strong man with healthy boundaries and great self-esteem wouldn’t be with this type of woman in the first place. If he somehow allowed himself to be seduced by her cunning and manipulative ways and false personality (as others do so easily), and then made the mistake of marrying her, he certainly would not have stayed in the marriage for long.

Narcissists take advantage of the weak; those whom they believe they can intimidate and manipulate. Men who marry narcissistic women and stay have masochistic tendencies along with low self-esteem, a pattern of abuse in their lives, are seeking to fill in the shoes of lost love or a mother they did not have, are codependent, or have a mental disorder. personality just as she does. There is always a deficiency of some kind.

A man who has it in common would not submit to the dehumanization, castration, objectification, or unpredictable fury of a narcissistic woman. I would never accept the role of perpetual victim; someone who believes he is unworthy and guilty of whatever his NPD wife chooses to blame him for.

A man who wants his marriage to a narcissistic wife to survive must worship the ground on which he walks; tell him everything he wants to hear. You must tell her how beautiful she is, how perfect she is, how superior she is, and how accurate she is of whatever point of view she takes. You must deny the importance of your own wants and needs to please her.

Narcissistic wives control their husbands like puppeteers. They use anger and withdrawal from love or sex to keep themselves at bay. They can make these men’s lives hell if they want to, and then make men believe they deserve everything. They keep their husbands alert with confusion. These submissive husbands become dependent on their wives to tell them what is true and what is false, what is right and what is wrong, what they are allowed to do and what is forbidden.

By the time children enter the scene, it has long been established that the husband’s survival in the relationship depends on his allowing his wife to be abused.

Men who marry narcissistic women and stay with them do not constitute strong parental material. They turn into spineless jellyfish who will do anything to keep the peace with their wives, even if it means they have to sacrifice the welfare of their children. Wives always come first; These parents make it very clear to their children.

The father also becomes complicit in the mother’s abusive tactics. She bullies him into doing his dirty work so she can remain the innocent of the abuse forever. If he abuses her, she may deny having anything to do with him. She is Teflon, nothing ever sticks to her.

His father’s behavior does not make sense to his children. They wonder, “How can Dad be so loyal to someone who treats him so badly? Why doesn’t Dad ever confront her?” Being a helpless witness to the contempt and castration of your father is very detrimental to the emotional well-being of the children, as is the direct narcissistic abuse of their mother.

Children raised in a family like this have no chance for emotionally healthy development. They have no emotional security. Their lives are completely unstable. They constantly live in a chaotic and unpredictable environment. These children can never rely on emotional coherence; therefore, he lives in a constant state of fear. They are forced to take on roles that are inappropriate for their age in an effort to establish a sense of calm.

No one steps in to help these children because no one on the outside recognizes what is happening at home. Narcissistic mothers present a perfect family image to the outside world. Everyone who looks from the outside sees his mother and father as wonderful people. Those outside the immediate family never see what happens behind closed doors.

The narcissistic mother demands total loyalty. Their mother reinforces again and again to the children that they should never discuss the private affairs of their family. Any semblance of love that she has spread is immediately withdrawn every time the children step over the line. They would not dare to embarrass their mother, so they must internalize all their feelings.

Children with narcissistic mothers and enabling fathers are emotionally neglected and abused from a very young age. They have no one to defend them. They are prepared for a life of misery; insecurity, lack of self-esteem, depression, anxiety, fear, anger issues, boundary issues, codependency, and painful adult relationships. Sometimes even the chemical balance in their brains is disturbed, making abuse almost impossible to overcome in later years without counseling, therapy, or medication.

Children raised in an environment like this grow up without healthy coping skills or problem solving. They have to build protective walls inside for their emotional survival. The most basic challenges in life are faced with confusion, fear, withdrawal, anger, or substance abuse. Their lives turn into disasters.

It is difficult for adult children who grew up in these types of homes to recognize the root of their problems. They have led very painful lives and often do not understand why. They have a hard time seeing the abuse for what it was and still can be. They hear about children being brutally beaten and feel guilty for comparing their pain to that of these victims. Emotional abuse seems to pale in comparison to physical abuse, in the minds of many. But that is definitely not the case.

Unlike physical abuse, narcissistic abuse is subtle. These abusers deliberately confuse their victims about the reality of what is happening, so victims never seem to identify the source of their pain. Narcissists play mind games. They deny everything they have done. Children (adults) can never confront their parents and get an admission, validation, or apology.

It’s twice as frustrating when the other parent takes exactly the same stance and stands up for the NPD parent, or when the therapist we go to or our friends blame us for creating the problem in the first place. That drives us crazy; makes us guess the validity and severity of our pain.

So, as adult children of narcissistic parents, we must stick together. We must support each other because no one else will understand. And most importantly, we must get professional help. We cannot recover without it.

In very simple words, death is the end of life. So in this simple definition another term is needed to be explained and it is: life. For the human being, life is the existence of an individual. If we take the term existence as easy to understand, because not every word can be explained in a limited opportunity, now we can define death and that is “death is the end of existence”.

In medical science, death is the permanent and irreversible cessation of all vital functions, namely brain function, respiratory function, and circulatory or cardiac function. Therefore, the medical definition elaborates further on the two aspects of the usual definition, “end” and “existence.” Thus, for death, “end” represents something permanent and irreversible, and “existence” is represented mainly by functioning.

Integrating the two previous aspects, death can be defined in a very rational and scientific way as the absolute disappearance of functioning. In the science of psychology or psychiatry, theology is also included, with ethical and philosophical points, to have the integral questions. Therefore, it is assumed that the theological or religious aspect of death is also important for the purpose of psychiatric investigation. As a Muslim doctor, I will try to mention the Islamic point of view on death.

Islam defines death as a mandatory transition event between “life before death” and “life after death”. So if we integrate the scientific aspect with the description, the definition of death for a Muslim would be the absolute disappearance of the functions for the period of time between the two lives, one before death and one after death. As a result, he abandons the permanent and irreversible criterion of “end” in the concept of death with the help of the concept of life after death.

In our daily life, death is related to the greatest stresses due to knowledge: death ends. It is also backed by science so far. But when the question of religion comes up, specifically Islam, this knowledge changes for a religious person. Therefore, it can easily be assumed that death becomes a less stressful event for a Muslim, when he really believes in Islam. I think the time has come for science to take into account definitions derived from religions for the sake of greater convenience in our daily lives.

Sometimes your intuition tells you that something is not right, but you are not quite sure what it could be. Are you in a relationship that worries you? Are you afraid that this person has some “problems” that could cause you a lot of problems? Does your instinct tell you that something is not right? Check some facts and answer these questions:

1. Do you get angry and then apologize and promise that it will never happen again? How many times do you need to see this before you recognize this as an abuser tactic? Once is enough. Twice is too much. To go.

2. Is it “too good to be true”? Is it your soul mate? Knight in shining armor? And do you know this on the second or third date? Better take a step back and give it some time. No one is perfect, and abusers are often charming and manipulative.

3. Does he ask you for money? Doesn’t he ever take you to dinner somewhere nice? Being thrifty is fine, but being pathological with money is not. Be on the lookout for clues as someone with a good job who never spends money. Narcissists do not have a normal relationship with money.

4. Are you spending money recklessly? The other pathology surrounding money is that of bragging. The man with a huge roll of bills who is always buying drinks for the bar, but does not know how to save for the house.

5. Is he insensitive to your needs and often teases you? Don’t stay with someone who makes you feel bad!

6. Do you have a need to control situations? To control you? While this may be comforting, it is childish and you are now a grown person who needs to make your own decisions.

7. Do you have a good personality in front of others? Do you think it’s “just cool”? while you know better?

You have the right to be treated with respect. The narcissist is unable to do so. Narcissistic personality disorder is just that: a personality disorder. Women in these relationships find that over time things get worse, not better. Don’t marry a narcissist. Don’t think you can change it. You can not.

You can change yourself. More self confidence will lead to less need. It is better to be alone than with an abuser.

Charm is a facade, manipulation will wear you down and one day you will discover that dreams have turned into a nightmare if you are left with a toxic guy.