After the age of 50, some of us begin to take on different character traits. Some of these traits may be due to a smaller dose of testosterone flowing through our bodies or it may be that we have mellowed out over the years. The kids are grown, the weddings are over, and retirement is just around the corner. Now is the time for those hobbies and pastimes that we never made time for when we were young. Some of us have even started reading Southern Living magazine. (There are some attractive young women in this magazine, and they cover SEC football during the fall of the year.) Southern Living also has golf course features and they always have several articles on one of our favorite pastimes… FOOD.

Now the good news about cooking when you hit double cents (age 55) would be that your wife will no longer try to tell you how to cook or what you’re doing wrong. Usually she doesn’t care if she cooks a whole pound of bacon or uses a pound of butter on a plate. My spouse is so happy that he doesn’t have to make another decision about food or a meal that says absolutely nothing about anything I cook. Let me tell you guys who think you have to be a girly man to cook. Get a grip. This is the ideal time to grab your favorite adult beverage. The female of the species does not think it inappropriate for males to drink while slaving over a hot grill or gas stove.

Another benefit of cooking is the trip to the local grocery store. I quickly made friends with the wine section at my Kroger and women of all ages believe that if you’re a man and you buy food, you’ll have the answers to all your cooking questions. Go figure! I’m not kidding my wife, but it’s always entertaining to offer sage advice to women and the casual man on the proper preparation and cooking time of various dishes. I try to stick to the basics, like pork tenderloin, chicken, steak, and specialty burgers, but from time to time I offer advice on complicated dishes that I know absolutely nothing about.

This past Thanksgiving I decided I would make a special chocolate cake for friends and family. The ingredients alone cost me $45. Did I mention the recipe called Bourbon and thought what the heck, I might as well buy a half gallon since it was already in the store? One never knows when a friend or two might drop by while cooking and it would be downright inhospitable not to offer a libation or two. Anyway, most of my friends like their bourbon with sour mash, and if they find out I’m cooking, they’ll make a special trip to: number one, watch me make a mess, and number two, have a couple of shots. and solve the mysteries of the world.

The aforementioned cake includes 1/3 cup of bourbon (or was it 1 cup, I can’t remember) but it was a great cake and eaten by all my friends and family. I recall that the cake, icing, and frosting took a total of 1 pound of butter, 1 pound of sugar, and ½ pound of brown sugar. Plus there was buttermilk and powdered sugar included. Needless to say, the thing melted in your mouth and was completely consumed.

The only bad news in the whole story is the need to clean up once you’re done. When grilling, cleanup is simple, burn off grill grease, dispose of foil and disposable plates, and clean out beer cans. Cooking indoors is a totally different animal. Your spouse or significant other expects you to wash all pots and utensils used during cooking and to clean the stove and counter. Why is that? You’d think they’d be so happy for us to cook a meal or dessert that they’d at least volunteer to clean, I mean really, cleaning isn’t brain surgery. It’s not going to happen. Just go and do it.