When my daughter was two years old, we were teaching her to say thank you. She had just finished when Keith leaned in and whispered, “Tell mom she’s pretty.” Katie quickly clasped both hands back together, closed her eyes, and said, “Dear God, please make Mommy pretty. Amen.”

But most of my girls’ prayers tend to go like this: “Thank you we had a good day today. Please help us have fun tomorrow! Amen.”

And I’ve decided this isn’t good enough. So here is our plan to really teach you how to pray:

A. Model prayer for your children

Children are not going to learn sincere prayers until we pray sincere prayers in front of them. So each night after dinner, have a mini-prayer session where you pray fervently for something important to your family: a family member who needs God, a financial situation, a personality conflict. Something. When they hear you pray for someone, they learn how to pray too!

B. Teaches different types of prayer

We are starting a new program where we are encouraging you to branch out in prayer. There are different variations for this, but here’s one I’m working on. Look at your hand. If you notice, you have five fingers. Ask the children to raise their hands and for each type of sentence, they can raise one finger until their entire hand is raised.

1. Praise

Thank God for who He is, for something about Him, for something He has done.

2. thanksgiving

Thank God for something he has done for you today. Encourage children to make this as specific as possible. Not just “Thanks for my mommy,” but “Thanks for giving me a mommy who comes to my hockey game” or “Thanks for my mommy who hugs me.”

3. Request from another person

Ask God for something. Once again, make it specific. No “feeding all the children” unless they are very young. It is better to ask God to give money to a family he knows, or to help your sponsored child and his family, or to help someone you know who is sick. If there is a constant need, pray for it every night. But try to encourage them to pray for something new too.

For example, we have a close friend whose five-year-old daughter is currently undergoing treatment for leukemia. We pray for her every day and then add other requests as well.

4. Confession

What did you do wrong today? Hint: Kids are much more likely to pray this if you model it. Every time you make a mistake, immediately confess it to God in front of them. If they see you doing it, they won’t feel as uncomfortable doing it either. And don’t let them say, “Forgive me for being selfish.” Always encourage them to use “when” statements: “Forgive me for being selfish when I didn’t want to share my lego.”

5.Request for you

I think this should always be the last one, because the other prayers help put our hearts in line with God. Then you are in a better place to make your own requests.

But this one can be difficult. It is okay for children to ask for something for themselves. But make sure you don’t treat God like Santa Claus. Not “God, please give me a new bike.” Ask them what their biggest struggle is. Maybe it’s getting along with a sibling, or a teacher they don’t like, or solving math. Pray for it.

Now all five fingers are up, and the children have not yet said: “Help me have fun tomorrow!” So you are well on your way to raising prayer warriors! Congratulations and don’t give up!