What is seduction?

* Seduction is the art of using sexual attraction to achieve a goal.

* The goal is not always sexual intimacy. For example, television commercials use young and attractive models to promote a sexy and modern image of their products and services. The sexy part motivates you to buy their products.

* On the other hand, there is cruising or flirting, in which the seducer’s objective is consumed in a one-night stand.

* More commonly, the goal of seduction is to conquer a soulmate. Here, physical attraction is key to making that all-important first impression. But beyond that, a lasting relationship can only come about through personal and mutual chemical interests.

* The least common form of seduction is spying. Here, bribery and blackmail are more common methods to obtain intelligence information, which is the ultimate goal. But seduction for purposes of industrial espionage, as opposed to state-sponsored, had a long and healthy run in this country until the Economic Espionage Act of 1996 was enacted.

How is one seduced?

* To be seductive, you must first look seductive. Appearance counts for that first impression, and you want your dream date to think, “Wow!” before you open your mouth.

* For most young adults, the key to a good appearance is exercise, diet, proper grooming, and a wardrobe that matches your surroundings. Most of the time this is common sense. Hugging your slim figure, that ribbed sweater looks great at a ski resort, but you might think twice about taking it on a tropical cruise. For men, jeans and a flannel shirt are perfect for a hiking trip, but they’re not appropriate anywhere the ladies dress up. If girls go to all that trouble to look good, you have to put in some effort as well.

* Let’s say you have all the classic characteristics of home life… You have prominent cheeks, haggard eyes, a sunken chin, a hooked nose, and bushy eyebrows. But let us also suppose that you are disciplined. His weight is under control and he graduated at the top of his college class. How do you do the qualification? As a last resort, consider plastic surgery.

* If you’ve paid around $100 to $200K to finish your college education, wouldn’t you want to spend maybe $20K for treatment from a top plastic surgeon? This may sound radical, but psychology studies have consistently shown that attractive people are more successful in business and make more money. You may find this superficial, but it’s a fact, and it gives you a rock-solid rationale beyond the simple vanity of going under the knife.

* I REPEAT; most young adults do not need surgery. All they need is a proper diet, good grooming, and good exercise.

What makes seduction successful?

* The seduction artist knows that human beings have many needs. We all have common needs like safety, comfort, social acceptance, and that all-important soulmate.

* We also have individual needs, which can be intellectual, emotional, or task-oriented. This even includes one or more of the seven deadly sins! Individual needs include preferences, which are not absolute. For example, you may prefer a partner who is tall… short… thin… plump… blonde… brunette… loaded… On the other hand, some individual needs are absolute and functional. as filters to rule out any possible suitor who is not on the list. Therefore, an observant Orthodox Jew will only date another Orthodox Jew. Of course, the biggest filter of all is the fact that the potential dream date is dating someone else.

* Finally, we have intimate needs. You can’t put a name to many of them, because they reside in the emotional centers of our brains, a place that Freud called the subconscious mind. However, intimate needs are very powerful. They can flash green lights of excitement and red lights of caution to our conscious minds, and it all depends on the complex interplay of thought and circumstance at the time. Intimate needs manifest with brute force in our conscious minds and determine whether we are straight or gay, even how we like to be held. They can also involve obsessions and fetishes, among other things.

* The most important thing to remember is that successful seduction requires meeting as many common, individual, and intimate needs as possible for your intended partner. This is something you can’t fake or talk about.

* Social interaction is spontaneous, so sometimes it’s best to sit back and make objective observations of the person of interest. Write down his findings as if you were writing a field study for a naturalist’s journal. You don’t need much formal training here. Simply state in plain language what the person is wearing. Pay attention to your personal hygiene. Consider the style of clothing and the way you sit. Look at all the peculiar gestures. We all have them. How does the head turn? Do you open your fingers when you look at your nails? Look for any special jewelry. Anything worn on consecutive days is special to that person and deserves a compliment when you decide to break the ice. A professional manicure tells you that a woman takes special care of her appearance, but it could also mean that she likes to be pampered.

* Why are you doing this? This is called research, and you can take it as far as you want. But please don’t stalk and don’t invade that person’s privacy. In other words, it’s okay to discover through rumors that the man of your dreams loves football and chocolate, but it’s not okay to sift through his trash.

How does the ice break?

* If you are an attractive woman, it is easy. Guys will naturally flirt with you. Of course, that cute boy, whom you’ve been dying to meet, has a severe case of shyness. He thinks like a spy. Stage a small catastrophe like accidentally bumping into him and dropping your belongings. This gives you the opportunity to become a knight in shining armor. When he helps you pack your things (and he will), make your move. How advanced do you want to be? That depends on you. Be warm and complementary. Now, if you’ve really done your research, you know he’s a rabid Yankees fan. Do you think he might be interested in those two tickets you have to the Red Sox game?

* When it comes to attracting the opposite sex, men as a group are not as focused as women. In fact, I could say that most men are downright lazy. All around him, the women are giving off telltale signs, and the guys just don’t have a clue. Think of all the high maintenance her bridesmaid has gone through with her hair, her makeup, her color coordination, and her jewelry. Everything begs to be noticed and commented on. What does the mirror say about her? She talks to him every day.

* Men should stop trying to figure out what a woman is thinking. It’s too complicated, and it won’t help for that alluring first impression anyway. What is more important is the emotional state of the woman, which emits high-definition signals in plain sight. Unfortunately, many guys have faulty antennas.

* A common sense guideline for a man is that he still has to make the first move, but before he makes his approach, he has to look his best, and he has to have a confident demeanor that indicates he is comfortable in your skin. He has to understand the individual needs of the lady and be prepared to compliment her on the things that mean the most to her. Remember that social acceptance is a common need, and you can assume that he will respond well to compliments. as for her individual needsYou’ll have to do your research. For example, what is your favorite song? Instead of grilling her with a torrent of questions, you could try mentioning her favorite music, authors, vacation spots, etc. and let her lead the conversation. Listen to her every word and try to remember not only what she says, but also how she says it. Where are her passions?

* A woman often responds to a warm conversation with flirtatious gestures. She will smile appropriately and make direct eye contact. If she bores her with her, she will look away and even try to get the attention of a friend of hers to help her get away from you. If she throws you a sidelong glance over her raised shoulder, she is flirting with you. If she listens to her favorite song, she might get goosebumps. Say the words “Great song” and she might even hug you.

How do you seal the deal with a kiss?

*Always keep in mind that intimacy is not a gymnastic event. Never rush that first kiss. The hands should reach the hands first, then the forearms, then the arms. Maybe your partner wants to feel the power of your broad shoulders. Don’t get in his way with a stupid kiss. And why does a first kiss have to be on the lips? Kissing the side of her head is both intimate and loving. Once your lips meet, keep it smooth. Your tongue is not a battering ram. And please don’t try to get to second base unless his hands point you there. Just say, “You look beautiful.” And you better be serious too!