After being married for over 10 years, raising 3 children and getting along with my husband has been such a challenge that I left my teaching career behind and headed into my new career which is being a full-time wife and mother. In my youth, I was a jazz singer, a rock band vocalist, then became a drummer’s girlfriend, and finally became his wife. I have learned so much about how to treat and talk to men, that I can actually tell how they think and how they react to women. I can say that I know boys better than most girls because I have always been around them, since I was young, I had 3 brothers, all my best friends growing up were all boys, I enjoy their company even at school because they don’t gossip much and they don’t like drama much. All the bands I’ve been in were male dominated, I’ve seen them do things and heard them talk to each other, like there’s no woman around because they all consider me one of them. My best friend and my man, who always loses to me in our drinking competition, is a drummer and a painter, and I married him. My goal is to make my marriage last, and make it fun, while I’m in the process.

So let me share 5 techniques to ensure a peaceful and harmonious relationship with your husband, as I have learned from all the men I have talked to and observed. I am still learning more and am on a never-ending quest to maintain a good relationship with my husband. Hopefully, these tips will help you get along with your husband, the man you want to spend the rest of your life with…

How to get along with your husband in 5 easy ways:

1. Get to know the real him: Don’t focus too much on the background, the past, and the skeletons in your closet. If her goal is to get along with her husband, finding out too much about his past and her previous activities and relationships may cause her to react negatively and be suspicious of his every move. What I mean by getting to know the real me of him is finding out how he thinks, his passion and getting to know his interests and hobbies. If you think you know her husband because you’ve been together for so long, you might be surprised that you do or don’t have much in common after all. Unlike women, men still think that even after they get married, going out with boys, going to bars, and playing sports is still fun and interesting. They are also more inclined to pick up new interests and activities that their friends are currently in. Remember, like most men, her husband wants to keep up with his friends and, like a high school boy, wants to “go with the flow.” For example, James, a husband with 2 children and has been married for 10 years, admits that he hates the Saturday night movie marathon with his wife and his children. “I love my wife and kids, and I’d like to spend as much quality time with them as I can, but I can’t sit on the couch and watch 3 movies in a row, I’d rather take them out for dinner. Kiss the wife, take the kids to bed and then hang out with my friends at the bar I used to go to. “I’d also like to catch up with my friend Lawrence, who just made his first million in real estate, and hangs out at the bar every Saturday. My wife won’t understand, so I play along and pretend to wait.” Looking forward to our Saturday nights.”

Knowing his interests, you can jump ahead of him and suggest that he might want to do this and that with his friends, and you’ll be surprised at the big smile your husband gives you, and you’d probably buy into it. that $300 pair of shoes you’ve been praying for, just because you let him do his thing. For most men, giving them freedom and supporting them with their recreational activities is showing how much you love them. Better still, if she finds that her husband’s new hobby interests you too, she may want to join him and spend more time with him and do some things that you both enjoy.

2. Understand your husband and try to find out how he thinks: If you are not a graduate in psychology, or an expert in body language or profiling, don’t rely too much on your assumptions and don’t be sure you know how your husband thinks. husband thinks. They think differently from us, and it’s hard to read her thoughts behind her smiles and sweet words. Even if you are not an expert in psychology, do not despair, there are ways to know what he is thinking. Women often assume that men think like us and share the same priorities as us. Again, we return to the differences between a man and a woman. A man does not think like us, sometimes he acts like us, performs tasks that we would do, and sometimes he talks like us. But more often, while doing what they think we want them to do, they think, “I’d rather hang out with the kids and play basketball than help with the kitchen chores, if it wasn’t for the in-laws coming over for dinner,” and /or “the reward I will get from my wife tonight if I do a great job.” Mike, one of my closest friends at the office and a really nice guy, is a husband with 3 young children and has been doing laundry since his wife gave birth to his second child. His wife boasts to her friends that her husband, unlike theirs, works very hard, but he still does the laundry and enjoys it. Mike admits to me that he hates doing homework, saying, “I love my wife and I still feel guilty about my affair a few years ago. I don’t want her to find out about it, so I show her how much I love her.” and since I regret having an affair, I do the laundry.” Not only is there a lingering rift between him and Mike’s wife, which his wife doesn’t know about, but Mike also tortures himself and fails to handle his guilt properly This went on for several years, partly because Mike’s wife assumed she knew how her husband thought Mike is secretly unhappy.

To learn how to find out or say what your husband is thinking, you need to communicate with him in a way that doesn’t feel like you’re spying on him, or just snooping around because you’re setting up a fight. Instead of talking too much, she tries to quietly observe and participate in the small talk that her husband starts. Another effective way to find out your husband’s inner thoughts is to meet her friends, since more men open up to their friends than to their wives. When you get a chance to talk to your husband’s friends, talk to them without alienating them and try to find out what your husband is like when you’re not around. Start with a very light and informal conversation, throw in some humor if you can, and when your friends feel comfortable enough, they tend to spill the beans. Also, listen to your husband and pay attention. If you feel like he is hiding something from you and you think you should find out what it is because you want your marriage to last, listen to what he says and how he says it. Instead of assuming your man is so good, “he does what he has to do without telling me,” you should take the time to figure out what he thinks is fun and pleasurable, and what he thinks is tormenting and difficult. That way, you can support him with his likes and help him avoid or deal with his dislikes. When you understand your husband well enough, you will be able to communicate with him more effectively and peacefully.

3. Don’t Criticize Your Husband: Unless he’s asking for your honest opinion, which is really “Can you calm me down and boost my confidence?”, you don’t want to start a conversation by criticizing him. If you feel like telling him the truth, say, for example, that he looks like Barney in his favorite purple shirt he’s wearing in your daughter’s school play, that you personally want to rip his shirt off before you both go inside. to the car, say “Honey, that’s a nice shirt, but not for the school play because I think the stage is decorated with purple curtains.” Later, if he sees that the stage doesn’t have any purple on it, he’ll think and probably ask you why you said that the stage has purple curtains, you can lie and say that the school changed it, or you can tell him the truth. that the shirt isn’t as pretty as he thinks, but he goes on to say that you’re much more handsome in that shirt you’re wearing now than with the purple. Do you understand my point? Men hate being criticized, especially if their critic is the wife. Compliment as often and as sincerely as you can, and be careful about your “honest opinions.” You can provide feedback, which should include both the good and the bad, but avoid simple criticism if you want your husband to enjoy his company.

4. Know when to speak up and when to shut up – Good communication is always key, I can’t stress that enough. Don’t get me wrong, I’m too much of a woman and I hate men who complain that women talk too much, especially if a woman is right. But the fact of the matter is that we have an objective, and that is to avoid arguments and fights, to please our husbands and to get along with them. As a woman, I know how wives feel and how much we need to get our point across, but honestly, we don’t need to overdo it. Nobody likes a chatty mouth and a scolding, not in the office, not in restaurants, and certainly not at home. Men and women alike are attracted to people who are intelligent and soft-spoken, who only open their mouths when necessary. The nicest people I know are the quiet and friendly ones, and the people I stay away from are the loud and boisterous ones, who talk all day. A friend of mine who was engaged to a beautiful and attractive model, who was rumored to have dumped him, was surprisingly happy at another friend’s party that we both attended. I asked her if the rumors were true, and she said, “Yes, we broke up, but can you keep a secret? I was the one who dumped her, and since she has a career, I chose to lie and tell everyone that she dumped her.” me.” Naturally, I asked him what happened to a perfectly beautiful and successful model, and he replied, “She wouldn’t shut up!” Of course, at the time I didn’t believe him, and thought maybe it was just his way of getting back at her and that her embarrassment was too much. So when I had the chance to meet this female model, I wanted to confirm my friend’s statement. And wouldn’t you know it, I was just passing by telling her my name, when she opened her mouth , and it was like Pandora opened her box. My friend is right! She just wouldn’t shut up and her voice is close to a scream and what’s worse is her endless cursing. I can’t blame my friend for leaving his fiancée model after meeting her. The bottom line is that men and women hate people who talk too much. If your husband wants to talk to you, make sure you don’t turn your conversation into a talk show, with you as the host. Less talking, less problems.

5. Have fun with your husband: You may not think that watching a basketball game is a good idea for an anniversary date, but if it guarantees enjoyment for your husband, then you should consider it and have as much fun as you can with your husband. . We never share exactly the same interests and fascination with anyone, we all have our differences. No matter what it is, as long as it doesn’t compromise your time and morale, what the heck, do it. If he likes mountaineering, get trained and then hike with him. At first, having fun with your husband means that you enjoy his company while he enjoys his activities and you support him. Eventually, if you really love your man, and see that your little sacrifice makes him very happy, you will be surprised that an activity that is boring or unimportant to you, turns out to be incredibly fun when you see the smile on his face. , enjoying the moment, with you.