I will skip the chronological order of my “journey” (A Woman’s Journey) from childhood to the present. I would like to first answer a friend’s question “How to break the ice after a heated argument with a spouse without losing your pride?”

First of all, I wanted to say “thank you” for trusting me with this, and I hope all is well soon.

It’s natural to have an argument even (and especially) newlyweds. There is no guarantee that marriage will be the end of misunderstandings and relationship problems. Whether it’s a long or short engagement, it doesn’t guarantee that you and your spouse know all the nooks and crannies and deepest feelings of each other. You are two different people who agreed to start your journey together as husband and wife. It says “both,” which means they’re partners…in everything.

Living apart before the wedding and living together now are two different things. In any change, no matter how small the change, there will always be an adjustment.

The beginning of misunderstandings can be something small. Usually, it’s the way it’s pulled out that ignites the flame. The problem is; no one wanted to accept who is to blame. Why? Because of that culprit called “pride” that each one has, and nobody wanted to bow down. Each has their own reasons, and each believes that he is right.

How to fix this? Read and try these in your life:

· Establish house rules. Before marriage, both of you should establish some marriage rules in anticipation of any “problems”. If you haven’t done this before the marriage, it’s not too late to start doing it now. The rules should benefit both. You should not have authority. The rules should have the concept of strengthening the relationship and facilitating adjustments.

Write your feelings. The newlyweds are still hesitant or shy to express their feelings or thoughts (although it is one of the house rules: “say what you feel or think”) and you let the spouse read it alone. It is better, because the spouse can understand and think better if he has time to digest.

Say sorry. Maybe it’s hard, especially if you think you’re right. What if your partner thinks he is too? It’s hard to swallow your pride, but it’s worth it when he removes the wall between the two of you. Try saying it first and believe me, his spouse will say “I’m sorry too”. If he doesn’t, his pride is bigger than him and it spells trouble.

· Talk about the cause. When you’re both in the “kissing mood” again, talk about it. This will answer the “why”, the “how” and the “will” of the argument. Both of you can avoid misunderstanding on the same topic again.

· Avoid shouting matches. All this should be in the “house rules or marriage rules”. Arguments can also be called “brainstorming.” It’s not nice? Arguing means sharing what the other thinks, feels and wants. In this way, both of you will get to know each other better.

Note the shortcomings of each. Man and woman are created different. However, these differences must complement each other. The setting has no time frames. Every day, you learn something different from each other. Treat it positively, like “discovery.”

Point out or criticize with respect. No one will carefully tell a person their “negative” traits, only someone closest to their heart. Grow with each other. Enhance the “gifts” of others.

· Be nice and sweet. It’s not just at the “honeymoon” stage that the couple is sweet to each other. These pretty words and sweetness are the simple daily spices that will nurture your feelings for each other. Be kind even in your anger. Your spouse will love you more for these traits.

Help each other. There is a line of demarcation between man and woman. They should talk about it when Y What. However, the man who helps his wife with the house does not diminish his “masculinity”, quite the contrary. The wife, especially if she is capable, can help her man with her work through suggestions and research. She even with her just listen, she helps and shares the workloads of her husband.

Have a good time together. Being together at home is quite fun, but doing something outside of it is too nice and healthy. Playing sports or going out even once a week is healthy for you and your relationship.

There are so many books and friends that offer advice and ways to make a marriage work. However, it is in the hands of the “players” that victory lies. The type of foundation plays an important role in the success of the marriage. Love and respect are the best foundations that make any relationship lasting.

I wish everyone, especially this particular friend, a long and happy marriage.