Some people just don’t have relationships. Why is it a crime to be single and why is a person’s worth judged based on whether or not they have a partner? Being single is just a choice: it doesn’t make you right or wrong, a success or a failure. You have to choose what makes you happy.

Some people (and it could be most of us at a certain point in our lives) continue to sacrifice themselves in relationships to “make the relationship work”, to “prove that they love the other person”, so that they can receive validation that “They are good lovers and they are loved.” Isn’t that the time most relationship problems start?

What if most of the acts of love or the thought of attraction that we do are based only on judgments?

Some people decide who is attractive based on what the media defines as attractive (other people’s judgment), what their family and friends tell them they are desirable (other people’s judgment), but not what they actually like. It’s no wonder people find the person they “thought” they initially fell in love with, only to gradually become less desirable…because they never saw that person for who they really are in the first place! !

Starting with a pragmatic definition of the word itself – “relationship”

• the way two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected or the state of being connected
• the state of being connected by blood or marriage
• the way two or more people or organizations view and behave towards each other

they are measured by the distance between the two objects (or people) and there will always be a degree of separation.

It is intimacy that we would really like to have, not a mere relationship. What if true intimacy is achieved only when all barriers are down and no judgment is involved? Just an acknowledgment of what the other person is good, bad and ugly… and magically unique when she is being herself from her own Heart of Hearts…

Certain places in the book are confusing and twisted on first reading and for the right purpose. They make you stop and go back in the text before you get that wonderful AHA moment and you’ll start chuckling as you read more…

However, the overall author, Gary Douglas, gets the point: we cut off parts of ourselves to make others happy, and we don’t need to get divorced, especially in the most important relationship. The relationship, or rather the communion with ourselves.

Use this book to bring joy and happiness back into your life as you rediscover it.

I recommend it to anyone who wants to live a more conscious, joyful and happy life. Just read it and see if it will change your point of view on relationships or not.