Are you spending this Mother’s Day wondering if you are, in fact, a mother? Between 900,000 and 1 million women in the US alone face this question each year after experiencing pregnancy loss. “For women who experience a miscarriage during their first pregnancy, the question of motherhood is even bigger,” says Lisa Church of HopeXchange, a company dedicated to supporting women and their families coping with pregnancy loss.

Mother’s Day is the most difficult holiday that a woman must face after the loss of pregnancy. A time that was supposed to be a celebration of new life and new motherhood turns into a time of sadness and pain. Church’s book, Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Spontaneous, Stillbirth, or Infant Death, encourages women to use the holiday to remember their babies, rather than making it a dreaded event to endure each year. . “Nothing will ease the pain of Mother’s Day, but with a little planning you can make sure the day makes sense to you,” says Church. Here are some tips from the book that may help:

– You are mother.

The best gift you can give yourself on Mother’s Day is the recognition that you are a mother. You may not have a baby to hold in your arms, but you do have one in your heart.

– Let your family know what you need.

If you feel uncomfortable being recognized as a mother at a banquet or other function, substitute an activity you feel good about. If you prefer not to receive or wear a flower, wear an item that helps you connect with your baby, such as a piece of jewelry that includes the baby’s birthstone.

– Remember your baby.

Mother’s Day can be a great time for a husband and wife to talk about their baby and what it meant to them. Go for a walk, have a quiet dinner, or just set aside some time to remember your baby together.

– Decide ahead of time.

How you plan to spend Mother’s Day should be your decision, and one you make in advance. Setting aside time to reminisce and talk about her baby will make her “feel” more like a mom on the very day designed to do so. Church also reminds women that her spouse may experience similar feelings on Father’s Day, “so be sure to ask him how he would like to spend the day.”

Hope is Like the Sun: Finding Hope and Healing After Spontaneous, Stillbirth, or Infant Death is available online at http://www.HopeXchange.com, Amazon.com, and Barnes&Noble.com or by calling HopeXchange Publishing at 757-826- 2162 .