Technology

The history of question and answer sites

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People will always have questions. It is the nature of the human condition. We love asking questions and more importantly we love answering, maybe it gives us a sense of purpose that we can advise others or maybe we just like to feel a sense of superiority.

Whatever the reason, they have become very popular, and what Facebook is is just a glorified Q&A site. There are hundreds of these sites offering expert and hobbyist solutions to everyday problems. From the mundane like “what can I have for lunch today?” to life-changing questions like “should I get a divorce?”

Some of these sites are well loved by their followers and used on a daily basis, some of these early examples of question and answer sites are very rare.

One of the first was Forum 2000, a very curious site that claimed to be run by artificial intelligence, although in later years it was recognized as a hoax.

The Hatatetron went live on January 15, 2002 at a time when many other Q&A sites were springing up. The Hatatetron ran on software written by its creator Safiire Arrowny and has gone through different incarnations since its release. The main difference from Hatatetron was that in addition to answering questions with its characters, known as “Haters”, it had a forum called the User Owned or UO Forum.

The evolution of this type of forum was a fluke and became an extension of the question and answer format. Haters who answered questions on the front page now came to life within the UO Forum, interacting with users who had become active in the community. The Hateatron boasted a community and readership of over 100 regular users, hosted an annual convention called Hateakon, and answered nearly 5,000 questions.

Sometime in early 2005, the Hatatetron Q&A portion was removed from the site’s front page for unpublished reasons. The rest of the site has since been taken down, though it is still occasionally updated with strange messages. An extreme version of the format perhaps, but it still cemented the importance of these websites on the public agenda.

One of the biggest Q&A sites in the UK is Interestingly or Answerbank which covers topics like News, Food, Fashion and Health. Users post as many questions as they want, and some post multiple links per week. Subscribers are encouraged to respond to multiple posts, and many questions have more than one answer.

If you haven’t tried one of these sites yet, they can be very interesting and informative, so why not give one a try?

Sports

College Football – Week 7 – Only 10 undefeated teams remain – Oklahoma, Missouri and LSU lose

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Week 7 of college football began with 15 undefeated teams and finished with just 10, as No. 1 Oklahoma, No. 3 Missouri, No. 4 Louisiana State, No. 13 Vanderbilt and No. 20 Auburn were annoying.

Some fans would point out that he could hardly call the losses to Oklahoma and LSU as upsets since the No. 1 Sooners were playing the No. 5 Texas Longhorns and the No. 4 LSU Tigers were playing the No. 11 Florida Gators.

The Texas-Oklahoma contest was a shootout that Longhorn coach Mack Brown called “one of the best football games I’ve ever seen.” Texas trailed by 11 points twice in the first half and by 8 in the third quarter before winning 45-35 at home.

Longhorn Chris Ogbannaya, a senior making his second start, rushed 15 times for 127 yards, none more important than his 62-yard gain on a play that went nowhere and helped Texas stay on top.

Texas junior quarterback Colt McCoy was 28 of 35 for 277 yards with 1 TD pass and no turnovers. Oklahoma’s sophomore quarterback Sam Bradford was not far behind, going 28 of 39 for 387 yards and 5 TDs. Bradford found Jordan Shipley for 11 assists, 112 yards and a TD. Shipley also had an electrifying 96-yard return for a TD.

No. 3 Missouri isn’t nearly as good as its 5-0 pregame record guarantees and No. 17 Oklahoma State proved it by traveling to Missouri and beating the Tigers at home, 28-23, raising their undefeated record. to 6-0. The loss was the first for Missouri.

No. 11 Florida took it to No. 4 LSU, leading 20-3 at the half and finishing off the Tigers 51-21 at home. We no longer need to guess which team is better.

The No. 13 Vanderbilt’s little 15-minute brush with fame ended when the Commodores traveled to unranked Mississippi State and promptly lost 17-14 to the Bulldogs. Mississippi raised its record to 2-4 with the win over Vanderbilt. There are no words to describe the No. 20 Auburn Tigers who lost at home to unranked Arkansas 25-22. Auburn fell out of the AP Poll Top 25 with a thud.

Between Missouri, Louisiana State and Auburn, it wasn’t a good week for the Tigers. Congratulations to Texas, Florida and Oklahoma State who defended their rankings.

Among the other top 13 ranked teams to win were No. 6 Penn State on the road over Wisconsin 48-7, No. 7 Texas Tech at home over Nebraska 37-31 in overtime, No. 8 Southern California at home 28-0 over Arizona State, No. 9 BYU at home 21-3 over New Mexico, No. 10 Georgia at home 26-14 over Tennessee, No. 12 Ohio State at home 16-2 over Purdue and No. 14 Utah at Highway 40 -7 on Wyoming.

Also No. 15 Boise State on the road 24-7 over southern Mississippi, No. 16 Kansas at home 30-14 over Colorado, No. 21 Wake Forest at home 12-7 over Clemson (another Tiger team). , No. 22 North Carolina at home 29-24 over Notre Dame, No. 23 Michigan State on the road 37-20 over unbeaten and unranked Northwestern, and No. 25 Ball State on the road 24-7 over 1-AA Western Kentucky.

The remaining 10 undefeated teams (in no particular order) include Alabama, Penn State, Texas, Boise State, Texas Tech, Utah, BYU, Ball State, Oklahoma State, and Tulsa.

If you look at Sagarin’s ratings for schedule strength, here’s how the top 10 undefeated teams rank from best to worst schedule strength:

Alabama (38), Texas (43), Utah (72), Penn State (74), Oklahoma State (94), Texas Tech (105), Ball State (107), Boise State (111), Brigham Young (121) and Tulsa (141). This would go a long way to explain why some of these teams are undefeated. There are 119 Division 1-A schools, so you can imagine how tough the teams that played the last 5 of these undefeated teams were.

Tulsa plays absolutely no one worth talking about and could go undefeated if they beat Arkansas 3-3. Tulsa’s last win was over a Southern Methodist team 1-6 and the Golden Hurricane (that’s Tulsa) won 37-31. Fortunately, Brigham Young faces Utah in the last game of the year for both schools. Boise State practically gets a free ride to Fresno State. Ball State doesn’t really take on anyone.

Alabama, Texas, Penn State, Oklahoma State and Texas Tech will all fight their way up against much tougher competition.

Alabama, Virginia Tech, South Florida and Pittsburgh were inactive this week.

Other notable performances deserve some attention. The Penn State Nittany Lions traveled to Wisconsin and beat the Badgers at home 48-7. It’s not easy to beat Wisconsin at home, and for Joe Paterno’s team to tear apart the Badgers was impressive.

Michigan is really disappointing this year, losing again at home in the Big House to Toledo 13-10. The loss marked the first time in its history that Michigan has lost to a team from the Mid-American Conference. Toledo entered the contest with a 1-4 mark and a previous loss to Florida International.

Oregon State has to be the nastiest 3-3 team in the nation. The Beavers defeated Washington State 66-13, outscored Hawaii 45-7, defeated Southern Cal 27-21, and are in no mood to explain their losses to Stanford, Penn State and Utah (all on the road). They are traveling to Washington this week and I would hate to be a Husky when they arrive.

After a great start to the season, East Carolina now looks very average, losing again on the road to Virginia 35-20.

The new AP Top 25 poll has the top 10 in this order: Texas, Alabama, Penn State, Oklahoma, Florida, Southern Cal, Texas Tech, Oklahoma State, Brigham Young and Georgia.

Some games of interest this week include No. 12 Ohio State at No. 20 Michigan State, No. 13 LSU in unranked but dangerous South Carolina, No. 22 Vanderbilt at No. 10 Georgia (the Commodores may lose their rank), No. 16 Kansas at No. 4 Oklahoma (watch out, Jayhawks), No. 11 Missouri at No. 1 Texas, unranked Michigan at No. 3 Penn State (Joe Paterno’s eyes widen). they get bigger and bigger every week, second only to their appetite for wins), and Hawaii at No. 15 Boise State (could the Warriors do the impossible?).

Copyright © 2008 Ed Bagley

Business

How you can get the rights to other people’s interviews

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It’s easy to get the rights to other people’s interviews. You can simply request the rights. You know a lot of people are sitting on a lot of content that they don’t place a lot of value on.

Perfect example; Hamel art. Art Hamel is a business buying expert and I have been selling his business buying course for the last five years and I met him on eBay. He had an auction on eBay and he was selling all these old seminars that he used to sell back in 1985. I contacted him through eBay and we got talking and found out that this guy was a real business buying seminar expert. He had the number one seminar on one of the biggest shopping channels, put 100,000 people through his training, and that’s how I met him. This guy was an expert, but he was no longer selling his old seminars on cassette tapes.

So I was looking for products to sell and I asked him if he would be up for an interview and that’s how it all started, with an interview and with that interview I must have sold 150 to 200 of his old cassettes. I would buy them for $25 each and send them to me in big boxes and they were cassette tapes, these brown cassette tapes and they really looked like they were from 1985.

But it all started there and since then I’ve had probably 13 hours of interviews with him over the years and we ran out of cassette tapes and digitized the product. So that was something that someone was virtually throwing away, leaving them on eBay. But I was able to turn that intellectual property that he was pulling off eBay for peanuts into a product and then we used a combination of the audio interview I did with him and a sales letter to sell the product.

After you get your interview done and you’ve done your research properly, you can start having interviewers write your sales letter for you. You can talk faster than you can type. By doing these interviews, you are creating great copy.

Sometimes you need to create sales letters in addition to your audio that help sell your product or service and you’ll save a lot of money because you can take the interview transcripts and go to a professional copywriter and say, “Take these transcripts and create a sales letter.” sales for me”. Basically, you’ve created it and he’s going to organize it, create the headlines, do the transitions, and come up with some strategies, but you can do it for a lot less money than if you went in and tried to create a sales letter from scratch.

So asking is number one. Another thing you can do is authorize interviews of people. Elson Eldridge gave me the rights for free because I asked for them, but let’s just say he wasn’t that willing to give them to me. I can say, well, I can license that interview and I’ll pay you $100 a year to use it on my website. That’s something you could do, you could buy them outright. He said, “Hey, I’d like to buy your collection of audio interviews. Would you be willing to take X amount?” Or they can rent them out so you can borrow them and pay rent, that’s like a license. Or you can exchange something for them.

There’s a good chance that if you have someone do some audio interviews and from what you’re learning with me, you’ll be able to take those interviews, you can clean them up, you can put some great marketing on them, and you can use them to sell your products or other products. . You will be able to do a lot with them and you could probably get a pretty good deal and pick them up just by asking or getting a license. Just make it work, see what they want, see what they’re doing with them. Just ask questions.

Home Kitchen

bohemian style

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I invite you to my rustic farmhouse as I share my free-spirited Boho Chic Christmas decor, preparing for the beautiful holiday season and a house full of friends and family. I love rustic woods and eclectic finds that I pair with Christmas decor while keeping it cheerful, magical, and colorful. The Christmas wreath accentuates the warm patina of the old carved barn door that is the focal point of the living room. Patchwork sari cushions, colorful sheer curtains, and tribal colored damchiyas from India that I’m using as nightstands in my bedroom give it an edgy eclectic bohemian vibe.

I am inspired by the rustic mid-century Christmas decor of the past, where old woods play an important role in grounding the energies along with lots of greenery and handmade cotton blankets that are so vagabond in their color. My aesthetic has now become more colorful and I love pops of color scattered throughout the house. My obsession with vintage wood cabinets and handcrafted furniture in natural wood tones with colorful tiles, as well as rustic farmhouse tables in whitewashed woods, plays off metal chairs and upholstered benches.

The Christmas tree has a vintage mid-century feel, with handcrafted antique dolls and ornaments, my need for a holistic vibe brings agate crystals and lapis lazuli malas that inject a bit of boho warmth into the decor. My kitchen has pendant lights and a hand-carved lotus flower shade that I’ve illuminated with recessed lights so the soft glow is cozy and warm. Large wooden chandeliers and a life-size Buddha sitting silently in the corner add a beautiful energy.

Ornate carved sofas in medium wood tones and beige velvet upholstery give the living room a Victorian appeal. The uniqueness of the hand-carved wood and the floral mix of the carvings is like bringing nature into your home. Artistic furniture made to measure for you inspires the mood to go beyond the ordinary. Christmas is the time of love and of gifting loved ones with all the precious blessings of the universe. Handcrafted console tables and lounge tables decorated with traditional bouquets of fall flowers and lush green potted plants illuminated by lights set the festive mood.

My love of bold colors like red velvet drapes mixes with the rustic textures and patterns of old dressers and a relaxed, bohemian-inspired space comes to life. The rustic chest of hope is filled with gifts and blankets, the warmth of love and happiness is so rewarding and beautiful as we browse through old Christmas decorations and trinkets. Blessings and love fill the home. Have a happy and blessed Christmas!!!

Digital Marketing

Universal Audio Solo 610

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Bill Putman, often referred to as “the father of modern recording as we know it today,” built his first recording console around 1950.

Putman was a music producer, recording engineer, and record company owner who worked with some of the biggest names in the music business.

In the early ’50s, he built his home recording console that featured the first 8-track experiments with a signal-to-noise ratio of 30dB, unheard of at the time.

This custom built console had rotary faders, 12 inputs, dedicated preamps and echo sends. Putnam’s console is the forerunner of the Universal audio 610 and any console anyone is using today! He invented the modern recording console: the way we use cue sends, echo returns, multi-track switching.

Universal Audio products have a true “soulful” connection to the past.

In fact, Universal was the name of Bill Putman’s record company. Today, Universal Audio is a company owned and run by Putnam’s two sons, Jim and Bill Jr. His desire is to “reproduce vintage analog recording equipment designed by his father and his colleagues” and to basically research and build new audio recording tools. recording in the spirit of vintage analogue technology.

Universal Audio Solo 610

A beautiful team! Universal Audio has done a great job getting this to emulate the famous Putnam 610 recording console. With just 2 large rotary knobs reminiscent of the original Putnam 610 and 5 position switches.

The two best words to describe its most important features are WARM and FULL. You’ll be able to boost any channel for bass, guitar, and his signature vocal sound like the original Putnam 610 that recorded countless artists from Muddy Waters to Frank Sinatra.

The SOLO 610 is a single channel all tube preamp in a DI box. Universal Audio is known for its solidly built audiophile components.

• Microphone and DI inputs
• Direct output
• Selection of gain, level and impedance
• Gain shape switch
• Mic/line level output switch
• 48 V phantom power
• Low cut filter
• Phase inversion
• Ground elevation
• Strong steel frame
• Assembled by hand by Universal Audio in the USA.

UA has several high-end products, but the Universal Audio Solo 610 is just under $800, perfect for smaller recording studios to get quality vintage analog sound. Let’s face it, as we sit in our studios most of us are completely surrounded by digital recording equipment.

Relationship

Blended Families – The “L” Family and its Lessons

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To encourage healthy interactions between stepfamilies, I share experiences from my practice. As always in professional writing, the identifying details have been altered. The following stories combine the challenges of stepfamilies into story-based lessons. I start with the story from the meeting of a couple to a moment of radical change in their lives. Lucille, a nurse, and Larry, an accountant, both in their early 30s, came to see me. Originally, Lucille was single, while Larry was divorced with a 5-year-old son, Louis. Larry was the full-time father of Louis, whose mother had recently come out as a lesbian and subsequently left the two of them.

Larry was studying for his CPA exam when he met Lucille, spending as much time with Louis as possible, even putting off phone calls and dishes until the boy fell asleep. When Larry first met Lucille, he continued to prioritize raising her child and did not bring Lucille into the home until her relationship was well established. Lucille was very loving to Louis and both adults worked to repair the damage caused by the first wife’s difficult decisions.

Things soon changed dramatically: Larry went to work, with many hours dedicated to moving up the career ladder. Lucille was not happy with her work and she retired once Larry had a good income. This left Lucille as a full-time mother to Louis.

At first she loved the part, making healthy school lunches and cooking fancy dinners, volunteering as a room mom at Louis’ private school, and even starting a local moms’ group. The two of them moved into a luxury condo in a fancy part of town, and Lucille was frustrated with Louis as he tried to keep the place clean and fancy, and he dragged dirt and crumbs seemingly everywhere he went.

This move added time to Larry’s commute, and as Larry became more successful, leaving work later and later, Lucille began to resent the carpooling, the teacher complaint notes, the constant restriction on her schedule because I had to be home at 4:00 am to meet Luis. She became increasingly irritable with Louis and let Larry know of his frustrations with the boy through emails at work and by the time he got home at night. She blamed him for making Louis self-centered by putting off chores until he went to bed. Louis’s mother, much less well off than Larry and Lucille, cut off all child support, leading to further feelings of resentment and aggravation.

Then, to everyone’s surprise, Lucille became pregnant.

The pregnancy certainly didn’t improve things between Lucille and her stepson. She becomes more. frustrated with him, insisting that her father put him in after-school programs and find someone to also take over his extensive ride-sharing duties.

The crisis occurred the night before Louis’s spring break, Louis was throwing a ball, as he had been told so many times not to, and as he lunged at it, he tripped over Lilly’s car seat, causing both of them to fall. children will collapse and scream. .

When Larry got home, Lucille told her husband in no uncertain terms what would happen now. Larry would drive his son to work every day of the vacation, since she had no intention of having Louis around, bothering and interrupting, every day for a week.

Now, let’s try to take a step back and think about the best way to avoid this scenario from the start. Some of these thoughts are based on How to earn as a stepfamily by Emily and John Visher. So, some lessons for stepparents:

Don’t be too strong, overwhelming your stepchildren and creating expectations that you can’t meet. Stop and let your stepchildren come to you.

Recognize that the relationship between you and your stepchildren is just forming. If you say you love them from the start, they often won’t believe you and may discredit other things you say.

Remember that stepchildren will be different from children raised by you. If you try to make them in your children’s image, you will get in the way of developing a good relationship with them. Household rules simply cannot make a person take a new form. Often stepchildren eventually absorb some of the new patterns you want them to adapt, but at their own pace.

Find out what things your stepchildren like and try to make them available, for example, a basketball net or their favorite drink.

Do things with your stepchildren alone without their parents, something that you both like and are good at.

It’s just a fact that you will feel differently about your stepchildren than you do about your own children. And your stepchildren will feel differently about you than they do about their own parents. Time can produce a very special relationship if you accept that the feelings are different at first and simply cannot be forced.

Similarly, accept that your reactions to your own child and your spouse’s reactions to their “darling 6-year-old” will be different. Support your spouse as he begins to bond with her children.

Avoid areas delimited by the child’s own parents. If her stepson says, “Dad says he’ll teach me to sail,” don’t run to the nearest shipyard.

Sometimes it can take until adulthood for stepchildren to realize the loving and special qualities of the stepparent. Be patient.

Do not make fun of or criticize the other biological parent. That parent is, not just chromosomally speaking, half the child, so you’re really attacking the child. Keep information about that parent’s love life and financial situation out of the child’s reach until the parent tells them.

Do not try to win your stepchild over through bribery (gifts, special outings, etc.) if your home is more financially comfortable than the other parent’s home. This can backfire as children may identify with the underdog.

Avoid the “romantic antidote marriage fantasy”: My partner’s first wife/husband was so bad that our new marriage will cure everything.

And finally, discipline. Now there is a difficult one. But during the first 18 to 24 months of marriage, she views her interaction with her stepchildren as more like that of a camp counselor with her camper. She’s there for her safety, but not necessarily to enforce the law. Only after the marriage is strong and you have come to know your stepchildren as persons, as they have seen you, should you take an active role in their discipline.

If you can follow some of these tips, you’re well on your way to making the “mine” and “yours” inherent in new marriages with children part of a well-rounded “ours.”

Health Fitness

How To Lose Weight Fast Without Exercising – Easy Ways To Get A Sexy And Fit Look!

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Are you looking for a simple solution to get an attractive body line? Can’t stand the difficulties of training anymore? Do you want to learn how to lose weight fast without exercising? Any average person can get their dream figure with a little effort and it is possible without exercise if a few simple rules are followed. Let’s learn about 3 powerful and effective rules that can give you a fit and attractive body shape.

Tip #1 – Easy diet in a different way

Proper diet food containing low carbs, healthy protein, lots of fiber, etc. it can give your body the desired fitness and weight loss. To get the full benefits of the diet, you should take smaller meals 5/6 times a day instead of 3 large meals. As a result, your body’s metabolism rate will increase and more calories will be burned. So you will quickly get in shape achieving a slim and sexy body line that will impress everyone.

Tip #2 – Water to limit liquid calories

When it comes to how to lose weight fast without exercise, controlling liquid calories becomes an important factor. If you drink plenty of water as a replacement for drinks and alcoholic beverages, you can easily deal with the extra calories. Also, the water will keep your digestion process smooth and clean. Thus, you can easily get your body in shape and look much better than now.

Tip #3 – Set your goal

By setting a goal in the plan, you’ll get faster results and be able to measure changes on your own. If you stick to the schedule persistently, you will achieve your desired weight loss in a short period without the hassles of exercises, so strong willpower is all you need to achieve success in your weight loss journey and look fit and sexy.

These simple but effective rules will make your efforts to lose weight without exercise successful and you can do it at home.

Legal Law

The best Hollywood movies about sexual abuse

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In light of recent stories about alleged sexual abuse cases in Hollywood, in which multiple victims have accused some of the most well-known figures in the film industry, it is interesting to recall how Hollywood itself deals with these issues in movies.

These are 5 widely known and acclaimed films that dealt with different types of sexual violence and, most importantly, showed how victims of such crimes acted to deal with the consequences of the abuse and bring the offenders to justice.

THE ACCUSED – 1988

Sarah (Jodie Foster), a young working-class woman, seeks help in the ambulance after being raped in a bar. She decides to sue her attackers and her case is assigned to Assistant District Attorney Kathryn Murphy (Kelly McGillis). However, Kathryn’s superior and Kathryn herself doubt that she will win this case, considering Sarah’s drug problems and provocative behavior the night the rape occurred…

Jodie Foster (The Brave One) stars as a woman seen as ‘dumb white trash’ who is gang-raped in this thought-provoking legal drama directed by Jonathan Kaplan (The Brave One). television ‘Law and Order’). ‘The Accused’ was one of the first films to explore other themes related to rape, such as the responsibility of the spectators of said crime. Stunning Jodie Foster won an Oscar for her performance.

NORTH COUNTRY – 2000

After leaving an abusive husband, Josey Aimes (Charlize Theron) arrives in her Minnesota hometown with her two children and moves in with her parents. Josey meets her old friend Glory Dodge (Frances McDormand), who convinces her to take a job at the local iron mine where she works. Surrounded by mostly male coworkers, Josey and her coworkers become the targets of constant sexual harassment and humiliation…

Niki Caro’s (‘Whale Rider’) drama ‘North Country’ deals with the bitter subject of sexual harassment in the workplace. Interestingly, this movie was based on a true story of a miner who sued her company in a class action sexual harassment case. Charlize Theron (‘Atomic Blonde’) and Frances McDormand (‘Butn After Reading’) were nominated for an Oscar.

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO – 2011

A wealthy businessman asks journalist Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) to investigate what happened to his niece who disappeared 40 years ago. Trying to solve the case, Mikael meets again with Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara), a brilliant computer hacker diagnosed with mental incompetence…

A Swedish novel by Stieg Larsson ‘Män som hatar kvinnor’ (‘Men who hate women’) inspired two film adaptations in two years. The English language adaptation was directed by David Fincher (‘Zodiac’). In this dramatic thriller, the main characters follow the trail of a brutal serial killer whose victims are women. Rooney Mara (‘Carol’) received critical acclaim and an Oscar nomination: scenes involving Salander and his sexual predator leave a particularly strong impression on the viewer.

FEATURED – 2015

In 1976, a Boston priest was arrested for child molestation. However, the case has been dismissed and the priest released. In 2001, Walter Robinson (Michael Keaton), the editor of The Boston Globe’s Spotlight team, a small group of journalists who write investigative articles, is given an assignment by new Globe editor Marty Baron (Liev Schreiber): to investigate how the figure Church leader covered up child abuse cases…

Dealing with the sensitive subject of pedophile abuse in the Catholic Church and how such crimes have been easily covered up for years and years, this biodrama was directed and co-written by Tom McCarthy (‘Win Win’) and won the award for Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay at the Academy Awards.

In conclusion, these films are proof that the film industry is not only meant to be entertaining, but can also be an effective tool to address important social issues. At the same time, we cannot ignore the fact that Hollywood has been accused of covering up cases of sexual abuse within its own ranks. Will he have the courage to face this problem? Hollywood, it’s your turn.

Lifestyle Fashion

The irony that a cheating spouse is more likely to cheat because of your insecurities

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I think it’s fair to say that almost anyone would understand that a wife who is dealing with an affair is probably also dealing with a bit of insecurity. Sure, she may hear her husband proclaiming her love for you and stating that she wants to save her marriage and make things right. But how do you know that you can trust what she says? How do you know that she is telling you the truth? After all, she was lying when she was cheating. So how can you be sure she’s not lying now?

And, as much as you want to believe his flattery and reassurance, how do you know he’s not just saying what he needs to say to make things better for everyone involved? How do you know that his claims that you are beautiful and still desirable are true or if he is just saying this so you don’t feel so bad about the affair?

Due to all these worries, it is very normal to feel insecure. You worry when it’s even a little late. You worry every time you hear his cell phone beep. You even guess every look or gesture you experience from him. Even when things are going well and things feel better, you wonder if what you are experiencing is just an extension of wishful thinking.

This dilemma is so normal that it’s more unusual for me to hear from people who say they don’t experience it than from those who do. Almost everyone struggles with this. And while it’s completely understandable, it can be hurtful in more ways than one.

The Many Ways Insecurity Is Incredibly Destructive: First of all, it’s exhausting for you. Trust me, no one likes to feel so insecure. And it hurts more than anything to the person experiencing it. But more than that, it can damage the very relationship that is the cause of insecurity. Because people get tired of constantly having to reassure you. And they can be completely sincere and loving at first, with a lot of patience. But as time goes by, it’s very exhausting for everyone involved.

A wife might say, “I admit it. I’m an insecure mess after my husband’s affair. The thing is, the other woman was young and beautiful. If I were a man, I’d be attracted to her, too. And she had issues.” to accept it when my husband tried to break it up. She continued to pursue him. It was as if he, and the relationship, really meant something to her. This hurts. And it hurts to know that when it comes to looks and desirability, they’re going “never I can compete with her. And I will always worry that she, or someone like her, will show up again. Therefore, I always show my husband. I always go after him on the road.” computer. I always check his phone. He was patient with this at first. But the other night, he sat me down and told me that I had to get over my insecurity because, frankly, being so “high maintenance “As he calls that, it makes him more prone to cheating in the long run. He says I have to stop this, which hurts. I kind of get it. But I feel like I’m entitled to my insecurity. And I can’t pretend I don’t.” I feel”.

Letting the insecurity go by yourself. For no one but you: I agree that insecurity is understandable. But I also know (from experience) that it destroys everything that is important to you. And that it is a heavy load to carry. I would like to suggest, as gently and lovingly as possible, that you try to strengthen yourself and reduce insecurity for yourself and not for him. Because it will only benefit you to gain confidence in yourself.

I promise this is beneficial in all sorts of ways. It frees you from so many worries and allows you to stop the exhausting process of always feeling insufficient. It is true that you do not have his youth. You are not her. But you have much more. You have the history and the commitment of marriage with your husband. You have life experience. And you are your wonderful and unique self.

I’ve learned that the key is to determine what makes you unique and then celebrate it without apology. No one else can be you. Each one is unique. You cannot and should not compete with anyone else because it is an impossible process. We are all unique and special in our own way, and ideally we are with someone who realizes that. If not, at least we have to find out for ourselves.

So yes, I strongly encourage you to let go of your insecurity and learn to appreciate how brilliant and special you are. But not for your husband, for you.

Real Estate

Should you invest in residential or commercial properties?

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Most people in Northern CA started investing in real estate by buying their own homes. And most have made money as Northern CA real estate has continued to rise in value. So when they move, they decide to rent their first houses. And then they buy a few more houses. They know they have negative cash flow but are making a profit because of the appreciation. This is the typical story of how most real estate investors invest in residential properties. So far luck has been on his side.

With interest rates gradually increasing over the past 12-24 months, while rents in the Bay Area remain very stable, the negative cash flow gap is widening. The risk of investing in residential property is increasing. The same old investment formula may no longer work. At best, investors can still make money, but not as much in percentage terms, since the value of real estate is already quite high. In the worst case, investors may lose money, as residential real estate may remain flat or even lose value. Is there a solution for real estate investors in Northern CA? Of course, these investors can use the same old formula in a new area that has appreciation potential. So the key is to find this new area. They just have to talk to someone who knows this new area. It could be Bakersfield or Sacramento or Fresno. Alternatively, investors can put money into commercial property: strip malls, malls, medical office buildings. Let’s explore this paradigm shift to see if it makes sense to invest.

1. Income: commercial properties generate 50-200% more rental income compared to residential properties in the Bay Area. Also, there is no rent control for commercial properties. Therefore, landlords can charge their tenants as much as the market allows.

2. Leases: In general, commercial real estate leases are more favorable to the landlord compared to residential leases. In addition to the base rent, tenants also have to pay the landlord property taxes, insurance, and all maintenance costs. These leases are called Triple Net or NNN leases. Due to this type of lease, commercial properties are better maintained than residential properties. In addition, NNN leases also eliminate a lot of risk for the owner, since maintenance costs are unpredictable. On the other hand, homeowners tend to defer maintenance on residential properties to reduce cost. consequently, deferred maintenance will have a negative impact on property values.

3. Best Tenants: commercial property tenants are financially stronger. They may be Walmart or Home Depot with billions of dollars in the bank. They are less likely to nickel and dime you. In addition, they also guarantee the lease with their assets. If for some unforeseen reason they have to vacate the property, continue to pay rent or find another tenant to sublet it. They are also motivated to keep their property in good condition to attract their customers to their stores. While most residential tenants are good, some think that once they pay rent they have a license to vandalize their properties and then disappear into thin air with no forwarding address.

4. Long-term lease: commercial tenants are less likely to move. They often sign 5-10 year leases. Tenants like Walgreens and Walmart sometimes sign 20- to 50-year leases. By contrast, residential leases are short-term. They could move to a new place a mile away for $25 rent relief! It is a fact that the turnover rate for residential tenants is very high compared to commercial tenants. As a landlord, this creates more unnecessary stress and migraines for you.

5.Management: It’s much easier to run a 10-tenant mall than 10 individual houses in 10 different locations. In fact, if you own 10 rental units, chances are your tenants have worn you down and we’re exhausted. They often move in the summer, just when you want to go on vacation. Yes, it is a fact that residential properties are very management intensive due to the high turnover rate. If you have to hire a property manager, it also costs more in terms of percentage of rent to manage residential properties. Also, it’s probably a full time job just managing these 10 property managers!

6. Income Statements: it is much easier to track records for income tax purposes for a 10-unit shopping center than for 10 separate residential rentals in multiple states. You only need to have one file for the mall, while you will need 10 folders for 10 residential rentals. The task becomes more challenging since the IRS requires you to keep records for several years. Your out-of-state tax return is also less for a 10-unit shopping center than it is for 10 residential rentals.

7. Tax cancellations: Commercial properties offer the same tax breaks, 1031 exchange as residential rentals.

8. Impact on credit score: Most people don’t know that once they have about 10 home mortgages, their credit scores will start to decline. The credit bureau reasons that credit risk is higher the more money is borrowed and 9-10 mortgages seems to be the threshold. On the other hand, commercial mortgages do not have a negative impact on your credit score since these mortgages are not reported to all 3 credit bureaus.

9. Pride of Ownership: most commercial properties are listed by name rather than addresses, eg Lion Plaza or Valley Fair Shopping Center. They could be trophy properties that offer tremendous pride of ownership. You get a lot of respect when you tell people that you own a certain mall that they know about.

10. Size of the investment: commercial properties often require a substantial amount of money, so it is not intended for someone with a modest amount of money.

So if you want to work hard for your money or bet on appreciation, invest in residential. If you want to work smart, look into commercial properties. Investing in commercial real estate is a more prudent way to invest in real estate if you have more capital for a down payment. Each month has a strong positive cash flow, so you don’t need to rely on appreciation alone to make money. So if you haven’t invested in commercial real estate, now you know why you’re not among the elite group of real estate investors. You’re probably wondering where you should go from here if you want to explore this possibility further. These issues will be covered in future issues.

o What commercial property should you invest in?

o Where should you invest in commercial real estate?

o How to pick and choose a good commercial property

o What you should know before hiring a property management company

If you can’t wait for those articles, you can sign up for a free Commercial Real Estate Investing seminar at Transmercial. The San Jose Real Estate Investors Club (phone number 408-264-3198) occasionally offers a similar seminar for a small fee.