Something didn’t feel quite right in the marriage, so fearing the worst, John checked his wife’s phone. He felt very embarrassed about doing this, but he was concerned about the amount of text messages she received at night and on weekends. He was pretty sure the text increase had nothing to do with work, because she would have said. When he checked the messages, he found that the same boy’s name was repeated over and over again. Fearing the worst, he read some of the messages and it was as he feared, his wife was having an affair. When he confronted her, she tried to draw attention away from her by accusing him of invading her privacy. After which she simply burst into tears. The boy she was having an affair with listened to her, something John probably hadn’t done in a long time. She swore to John that there had been nothing physical, he didn’t know what to think. He was clear from his messages that his friend was showing little more than friendly interest.

Now, John isn’t the first and won’t be the last suspicious spouse to check his partners’ messages, in whatever form they come. And that’s it, with the way technology continues to develop, it has become much easier for a spouse to cheat. Just because it’s easy to have an affair, doesn’t make it right.

Once you discover that your husband or wife has crossed the line from being friends with someone to something more, you will be the victim of a variety of reactions. You may feel guilty because you went behind your spouse’s back and invaded their privacy. Despite what you’ve discovered, it’s natural to feel bad about breaking your bond of trust. A melancholic sadness because your spouse no longer feels that he can be close to you and that he has found someone with whom it is easier to share his life. Anger is a natural emotion for you to experience. Your spouse has betrayed you, if you have children then they have betrayed your family. The fact that your spouse has gone looking for someone else indicates that your marriage is in trouble. Instead of facing those problems together, your spouse would rather spend her time and energy making a different relationship work. Anger is understandable, but it’s vital that you don’t let it get the best of you. You feel abandoned, that your spouse has turned his back on you and no longer has any genuine interest in you or your family. They will follow the movements, what did the children do today, what is there to eat, what is on television, but there is no longer any meaningful connection. Your spouse may have turned you around. To justify themselves, they accuse you of spying on them, after which you can’t do anything and are constantly on the defensive.

In this article, I hope to help you understand that extramarital affair and how it relates to the state of your marriage.

If your spouse is in an intensely personal relationship with someone, chances are that relationship has crossed boundaries and turned into an emotional affair. When her spouse denies her the emotional intimacy that is her right and lavishes it on someone else, then her marriage becomes less intimate and connected. To enjoy a loving and satisfying marriage, you must be able to share your life with your spouse, you must be able to open up where she is vulnerable. Doing that with someone other than her spouse means that she is developing an emotional connection with that person.

Most people, when caught, will argue. They will go on the offensive demanding to know why they cannot have a partner of the opposite sex. If the victim is particularly vulnerable, she might even end up agreeing with her spouse. Marriage is the result of an ongoing emotional connection that, if successful, will continue to develop and enrich your lives. They made vows that no matter what, they would share their lives together. If one of the spouses, for whatever reason, seeks emotional or sexual gratification outside of marriage, then he is not only cheating on her marriage relationship, he has set himself in the path of what is a meaningless existence. .

Many people struggle to understand the breakup of their relationship. To help you understand whether or not your spouse is caught up in an emotional affair, you should ask yourself the following. To what extent is this additional relationship hidden from you or painfully obvious to you? Does your spouse notify you when someone has texted you? They may be able to tell who the message was from, that the friend really understands and listens to them, and then reads the message back to you. Okay, it’s unlikely, but it’s possible. Another indication is if your spouse feels special with her friend, but not with you. As a married couple, they must be the best of friends, they must share everything. If you are committed to your marriage, then it is inconceivable that another person could hold a more special place in your heart.

In almost all cases, the cheater knows that what they are doing is wrong. If someone is carrying out a marital affair, there will always be a feeling that it is wrong, which is why they go to such lengths to hide the truth. When you find out what’s going on, all too often the cheater will try to justify themselves by painting you as the villain. One thing you will probably struggle with is coming to terms with the question: is your spouse in a physical relationship with the other person? There is no way you can tell if the relationship has become physical unless the cheater tells you. If you look at the trouble your spouse had in hiding the affair, anything is possible.

Obviously, I can’t say whether or not your spouse has consummated their affair. What I can do is point out that your marriage is most likely going through a breakdown of intimacy, this gives you a starting point to focus your attention. Hopefully, your spouse will come clean and admit to at least having an emotional affair. Having admitted guilt, you no longer have to fight over what happened, now you can see what happens next. Repairing your marriage bond and rebuilding intimacy again won’t be easy, but following these steps will help.

The first step is to examine your emotional connection. Whether emotional, sexual, or whatever, there is never an excuse for a spouse to cheat on their marriage. Obviously, the victim will want to know why it happened. Once she knows why it happened, she can take steps to make sure it doesn’t happen again. However, trying to find a clear answer to why a spouse has gone astray is never easy. Basically, it happened because a spouse made the decision, of his own volition, to have an affair. It could even be that they were in the wrong place at the right time, the opportunity presented itself and they took advantage of it. Unless it was spontaneous, the cheater has usually developed feelings of dissatisfaction with the marriage. Instead of talking to them, they have held them back and let them poison their feelings for you and the marriage. In order to fuel their dissatisfaction and resentment, the cheater may, unknowingly or unknowingly, make arguments or facts that justify their case to continue cheating.

Take a look at your own relationship. Is everything as it should or can you see signs of neglect? Do you still have meaningful communication with your spouse on a daily basis, or are you just drifting apart leading separate lives? By taking an honest assessment of your marriage, you should be able to find ways you can communicate more, or ways you can remind your partner why she fell in love with them. They both have to work to build their relationship, one person. they cannot do it on their own, if that has been the case, then there will be areas where their connection to each other has frayed.

Step two is where you need to be able to understand types of communication, and I don’t mean just talking.

While talking is important, there is much more to the art of communication. In addition to verbal communication, there is also non-verbal communication. Both verbal and non-verbal communication contribute to the development and deepening of intimacy between you. For example, non-verbal communication could just be time spent together, maybe watching TV, it could be flirting with your partner when you’re out to dinner, or it could be something as simple as giving them a card to let them know. how much they mean to you. If you really want to save your marriage, you will have to work on your communication.

Communication unites the two, when they do not communicate, then there is no connection. So work on that communication link, use both verbal and nonverbal communication, and find ways to bond on a more intimate level. When was the last time you went for a walk together, when was the last time you sat together and watched the world go by, when was the last time you held hands, when was the last time you said: I love you ? It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you keep doing it. Be careful though, if you start doing things like this, you will begin to enjoy being in the company of others again.

If your verbal communication has reached the stage where you are basically two strangers sharing a home, then you need to start introducing new topics. It could be something you heard on the new or maybe something you’d like the two of you to do together. Draw your spouse into the conversation by getting them to talk more about their work and their hopes for advancement. If you haven’t really talked in a while, this could be a bit adventurous, but you could talk about your hopes and dreams for your marriage. If you haven’t spoken in a while, it will probably take some time to get used to a more intimate form of communication. As long as you keep working at it, it will happen, and when it does, your intimacy will deepen and your marriage will be enriched. Your spouse may not want to communicate on that level so work on them, it may take time but they will get there.

Why not work on some of the non-verbal communication techniques I mentioned earlier? Why not commit to finding a new way to communicate with your spouse, say at least once a week? Here are the steps you need to take to achieve a deeper emotional connection. Of course, communication isn’t the only element you need to work on to improve intimacy in your marriage. You have a lot more relationship work ahead of you as you work to move your marriage forward and put your spouse’s emotional affair firmly in the past.