Business

Book Summary: Become Your Own Banker – Unlock the Concept of Infinite Banking – By R Nelson Nash

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This book is not about getting rich quick. He talks about emulating the entities that hold all the wealth – “Banks”. This is a big deal because you can take advantage of tax-deferred growth, pay yourself interest, take advantage of tax write-offs, and see the power of growth compounded over time. This strategy is very powerful and is how the rich preserve wealth through the generations. I am a big believer in financial education and this book will help you in that effort. As always, I am not a financial planner and I always recommend that you do your own research. This summary is designed to help you with that research.

Why is this important to me?

This may not be important to you, but in my opinion, it should be. Most people work hard to earn money and then do nothing to preserve and build on it. Remember that your financial goal should be to make your money work 10 times more than you do. I know this is an easy statement to make, but it requires diligence and education.

The flow of money is a key concept. It is flowing towards you or away from you; there is no way to stay still. That is why they call money – “currency”. Remember that if you pay cash for a car, you lose the earning potential of that money. Likewise, if you finance it then you pay interest to the bank. In both scenarios, the money is moving away from you.

Infinity Banking will show you how to eliminate this problem.

This book is divided into 5 parts. I will refer to each part and delve into the most important aspects of the concept of infinite banking.

1. Become your own banker: The problem with not doing this concept is the “volume of interest” that people pay to buy things. Most people focus on the interest rate without really thinking about the amount of interest paid. Here’s a quick example: Let’s say you’re buying a house for $200,000 at 6% interest for 30 years. You end up paying $431,677. So basically the house costs you twice as much. If you look at the rule of 72 then your money should double every 7 years then this is not a bad tradeoff. Here is the killer. Let’s say you sell the house 10 years later, you’ll still owe more than $167,000. Guess what, the banks know.

On average, you can figure for the average person that about 30% of every dollar goes to interest one way or another. Therefore, you should focus on the “Volume of interest” and not the interest rate. Think about this: what if you could have bought that house with your “savings” and paid the interest yourself instead of the bank?

2. Life insurance that pays dividends. Let me warn some of you who listen to Dave Ramsey. His material is excellent and he hates whole life insurance as an investment. I disagree with him and I can show you why. This book will touch on that. There are some real secrets with this device as an investment strategy. They include: tax-free growth, instant access to money, exemption from judgment, and the money stays in the policy. This is the real secret. When you take out a policy loan, you still receive your dividend. So it’s like your investment keeps growing and you can write off the policy interest on your taxes. Everyone focuses on rate of return using investment vehicles, but you have to look at all the pieces that make up the pie and I can tell you that nothing beats this concept. Why do you think Warren Buffet loves insurance companies and insurance vehicles for his investments?

Capital accumulation – Like any business, you need to build it before it starts making money. You need to do the same with insurance for the banking concept to work. If you think of a grocery store, you have to rent the space, hire the people, stock the shelves, advertise, and work the business. It takes time before the business starts spending money and you have a lot of risk. With the insurance vehicle as a financing component for Bank of YOU, you must build it for at least 4 years. Once you hit the 4-year mark, you can start using the money to buy things and pay the interest.

Human Behavior – For the Bank of You concept to work, you need to make sure you pay yourself for payments just like you would a bank. If you don’t, it’s like stealing. You really need to cement this concept in your head for this to work. You wouldn’t loot your grocery store, so don’t loot the insurance policy.

Compound Growth: For the sake of time, I won’t go over all the numbers, but insurance as a vehicle investment beats any other type of investment like 401Ks, 529 plans, CDs, mutual funds, and other restrictive types out of the water. Most financial planners will disagree with this because they don’t understand ALL of the benefits of insurance, not to mention they may not be able to sell it to you… Compound tax-free growth really gets stronger. mid to late years. When you pay yourself back the interest and principle, policy values ​​grow even faster. The real catch here is that you are now saving the 34.5 cents on the dollar in interest because you are paying it yourself. This interest then grows tax-free on the policy. One big advantage is that you get your policy loan money delivered to your doorstep and it’s tax-free. This is so because it is a loan for you. When you look at other investment vehicles, you’re encouraged to put the money away and hope it’s there. You must follow the guidelines for when you can access the money. If you do it too soon, you will have to pay penalties. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want people telling me what I can and can’t do with my money.

I have just mentioned the important factors in this great book. I can tell you that you can even put this strategy to work on steroids when you buy other cash-flow-producing investments. In the book’s examples, Nelson talks about buying cars and shows the power over time when you pay yourself the interest. Now consider if you buy a small business that is making money. It is set up to pay for the business with a good interest rate to pay for itself and NOW the payments come from OPM (other people’s money). I can tell you that the tax advantages and growth potential of this strategy are incredible. I have done this with both buying other businesses and buying real estate with cash flow. This really helps when you pay yourself back because you earn interest income and can charge yourself more interest.

Remember that interest income for YOU is taxed less than ordinary income. This is a great magnifying glass when viewed over time. You can earn more money faster this way.

I hope you found this short summary useful. The key to any new idea is to work it into your daily routine until it becomes a habit. Habits are formed in as little as 21 days.

One thing you can learn from this book is EDUCATE YOURSELF. The concepts in this book are excellent and I recommend you study them. If it makes sense to you, find qualified advisors to help you build wealth.

Home Kitchen

bathroom styles

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If you find information about bathroom styles, you will find hundreds of them and several options to decorate your bathroom in shopping malls, lifestyle and decoration magazines, newspapers, the internet, etc.

However, before we delve into the information about bathroom interior items, we need to know our taste and bathroom styles so that we can incorporate those items correctly.

The problem is that many people are not aware of the styles and their distinctive properties. The result is often chaos, with expensive fixtures and fittings making it impossible to find everything you need, or important functional items being placed in prominent and unattractive places so they don’t get lost. This is a problem, which could be easily fixed by simply getting some information on bathroom styles.

The most important aspect of creating a new bathroom is choosing the style of bathroom you want to have. However, the bathroom should be functional and practical, but the appearance of the bathroom is also important.

The style of your small bathroom can also make it appear larger. Country and French style bathrooms look small and messy. Whereas the contemporary looks elegant, spacious and open.

Therefore, we discuss the different bathroom designs and their properties.

For bathroom interiors, we have three basic bathroom styles: country, contemporary, and traditional. All of them have prominent differences in colors, accessories, and fine details.

Modern style:

The contemporary style is a minimalist style known for its consistency. It is clean, tidy and elegant, with a simple interior with straight lines where the wood and stone finishes play a very important role.

It is applicable in houses that have a modern interior. It emphasizes textures, material, lines, lighting, and sharp-edged designs.

Use neutral colors such as: whites, blacks, creams, earth tones, and grays. But people really want to feel somewhat energetic in the bathroom, so they can highlight the wall by painting in an accent color without disturbing the overall simplicity and contemporary bathroom. However, you cannot use the eclectic look for the entire bathroom, if it is contemporary.

Some of the important properties of the contemporary bathroom are brushed metal fixtures, textured cotton fabric, natural stones, freestanding bathtub, and logical lighting.

Contemporary bathrooms include:

· Use furniture with clear and clean lines with smooth surfaces.

Furniture should be light colored wood such as maple, teak with minimal grain.

You can use stainless steel, clear glass, chrome and nickel furniture.

· When painting the walls, choose shades of brown, taupe, cream or pure white. Neutral doesn’t mean boring, though, so be sure to infuse the room with small splashes of bolder, more vibrant color.

This can include painting a wall an accent color, adding a bold red sofa, or adding vivid accessories such as accent pillows, towels, rugs, or art. Just make sure you don’t over-accessorize – the key to contemporary design is simplicity.

Lighting plays the most important role in contemporary design, to illuminate the decoration. Track lighting is popular in contemporary design.

· To upholster the chairs, natural fabrics such as silk, wool, linen and cotton are used. However, bold colors or geometric patterns can be incorporated into the design with pillows, a rug, or a throw.

Stainless steel, nickel and chrome metals are predominant for bathroom vanity in contemporary design

Glass shelves can be used to bring an urban style to the bathroom.

To make your bathroom more interesting, one of the walls can be highlighted with textured paint or linen wallpaper.

· In the bathroom, you can use soft rugs, towels or fabric shower curtains.

Floors in a contemporary-style home should be smooth wood, tile, or vinyl

Country Style – The country style is very simple, which makes this style work for everyone. It does not require a large investment. It’s a minor remodel — it really means transforming your bathroom with key country items. Here are some great ideas to rusticate your bathroom.

Country Baths include:

The clawfoot bathtub is the most important element of the Country style.

For bathroom fixtures and fittings, always choose the Antique Brass or Brushed Nickel finish.

The wooden framed mirror is the most preferable type of mirror.

· Use old gas lamps to illuminate the mirrors.

· Use wooden shutters instead of curtains or use simple valances as a scarf for the windows.

· Old shelves should be there for books and toiletries.

If your bathroom is spacious, try putting an upholstered or wicker chair.

You can use vintage/neutral colored wallpapers or simple painting with vintage wall hangings.

Mirrors don’t need to be medicine cabinets

Wooden peg holders or an old coat rack can be used to hold the towels

· An old clock placed in the bathroom will prevent you from losing track of time while you soak in the bathtub.

Place one or two colorful towels and sheets in wicker baskets or old trunks under the pedestal sink. Use natural-colored or rustic paint for baskets and wicker baskets.

Use ceramic or ceramic, look for soap dishes/dispensers and other accessories

Traditional Style: In general, it is the most complex type of style, but it is very elegant and welcoming, providing warmth, grace and dignity. This style is made up of light and natural colors, which are combined with a combination of ornamental and jewelery themes. There is nothing wild or messy about a traditional room. You may feel outdated when you enter a bathroom with a traditional interior. Modern and eclectic pieces have no place in a traditional space.

Traditional baths include:

Use crystal, enamel and jeweled bath accessories.

Use Pedestal on sinks with vertically uneven bases.

Use two-piece toilets.

Use brass-finished hardware and accessories that have jewel tones.

Use fragmented oils and shampoos.

Use cotton towels finished with fine lace or embellished with sophisticated embroidery

Use luxury soaps, lotions, and bath salts.

Use rugs, footstools, comfortable chairs

Use linen guest towels that you also provide for your guests

Use beautiful, fragmented candles and attractive lighting

Use a clawfoot tub with gold/chrome legs.

Use ceramic tile, fabric, porcelain, or hardwood floors

If your bathroom is spacious, try putting an upholstered or wicker chair. The fabric is generally expensive, such as silk, velvet, or damask, which feature patterns over texture.

Use medium tone colors, however very dark and very light colors can be used. Enhance colors with hints of bronze and inviting wood tones.

Multiple floral prints on fabric are always welcome in traditional style.

Woods like mahogany, cherry, walnut, and dark oaks

Lamps with silk shades, wall sconces and floor lamps can be used. Color of smooth tones and in ivory or white.

Animal prints, rich textures are always required

Windows with a formal swag and panel combination give a traditional look to the bathroom. Use tassels to tie the curtain loosely.

Accessorize like gilt frames, still life oil paintings, silver candlesticks, and fresh or silk flowers in a large vase to accentuate the look.

Auto

Tips for Buying Auto Parts Online

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Cars are likely to wear out over time. Accidents or seasonal wear cause damage to the car. One may require to repair the damage by changing the parts of the car. The required parts can be purchased from a local auto shop or local car dealer. Some of the parts may not be available locally. You can always buy car parts online if they are not available locally. Numerous websites sell car accessories and parts over the World Wide Web. Here are some basic tips before buying car accessories online.

You have to understand that there are different portals that sell auto parts online. One can research online to check the availability of auto parts. Major department stores have their own web portals that sell branded car parts. You can also search for auto parts on popular websites like eBay. Several companies internationally also auction their pieces online. One can take advantage of fantastic deals on classic car parts by participating in the above mentioned auto auctions. It is essential that one should carry out proper research before buying auto parts online. If one is not sure about the quality, one can seek the advice of car experts on various car forums. Auto forums are a great online resource for auto parts servicing, repair, and maintenance.

Auto experts recommend using online site aggregators that help you compare auto parts prices on different sites. Using online site aggregators ensures that one receives the best price for an auto part. It is essential to check the authenticity of the web portal and the seller before making the payment. Many car owners have fallen victim to online scams through fraudulent e-commerce websites. One should check if the address and details of the sellers are verified by the site. One should always check the seller’s background by researching their performance history online.

Always buy from authorized dealers or their websites. Don’t fall prey to websites that offer incredibly low prices for auto parts. Most of these websites have outdated stock or inferior quality stock available with them. It should be verified if the e-commerce site contains a VeriSign or Thwate certificate. These certificates ensure that payments through the site are secure. Do not rush to buy being tempted by the offers. One should always research, compare, analyze, and then make a final decision regarding the sale.

Digital Marketing

Blogging Tips: Five Things Every Blogger Should Know

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When you start blogging, you may want to earn money or just share your thoughts with others. Whatever your goal, there are some basic “best practices” that will help you gain new readers and keep existing readers interested.

1) Write regularly

Blogs live and die by their content. The more content you have, the more visitors you will get from search engines, and the more visitors you have, the more readers you will get. Regularly updated content is also great for keeping your existing readers interested. A reader will not keep coming back to your blog if they see the same post every time. Readers want new content.

Many people suggest a daily posting schedule. That’s a lot of work! If you think you want to try writing a new blog post every day, I suggest you try before you create your blog. Use your favorite word processor and write a blog post every day for a week.

If you find yourself tired of writing at the end of the week, consider writing a post only every few days. The most important thing is not so much how often you write, but that you keep a regular schedule. If all you can manage is one post a week, but your readers know you’ll be available on Wednesday night, then they’ll come looking for it.

2) Spread the (link) love!

A common approach with new bloggers is to try to keep readers on their own blog by not linking to other blogs. The idea is that if I link, people will click on the link and leave my blog.

That’s true, some of your readers will follow your links. But if they find what you linked to helpful, they’ll come back to read your next post. And linking to other blogs is a great way to get the attention of the owner of the other blogs. They are likely to come to see what you wrote about them, and they are likely to stay and become readers. Or they may return the favor and bond with you at some point.

Liberal linking is a good technique both to provide value to your readers and to get more readers.

3) Read (and comment on) related blogs

Regardless of what you blog about, you can bet someone else is blogging on the same topic. Reading those other blogs helps keep you inspired. You’ll often find topic ideas on other blogs that you hadn’t considered, and you can put your own perspective on the topic and write about it yourself.

Commenting on other blogs is also a great idea. By commenting on another blog, you are letting the owner of that blog know that you liked it enough to take the time to comment. It is very likely that they will visit your blog and read some of the posts, and perhaps leave a comment.

When you leave a comment on another blog, you will be prompted for a URL. Be sure to put your blog’s web address in that field. That way, when someone visits your blog and sees your comment, they can click your name to go to your blog.

Regularly leaving comments on other blogs is a great way to make friends and increase your readership.

4) Market in moderation

Many people these days get into blogging to try to make money.

You can make money from blogging by placing ads on your blog pages or by linking affiliate products in your blog posts. Some bloggers think that the more they do, the more money they will earn.

In reality, if you use too much marketing on your blog, your readers will ignore you. Those who can’t log off will probably get upset and stop reading. It is much better to be moderate in your marketing efforts. Subtle marketing is more likely to make you money than blogging like a carnival barker.

5) Be authentic

When you’re trying to make money through a blog, it’s tempting to promote any product that can make you money. Remember, however, that you are dealing with your reputation. If you promote a product that is not good, the readers who bought the product will not trust your recommendations in the future.

Similarly, if you write a blog post that isn’t honest, only to get people to click on the ads, eventually your readers will stop trusting you.

Always be authentic and honest in your writing, and never post anything online that doesn’t reflect how you really feel.

Health Fitness

Seven household chores that can help you lose weight

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Doing household chores is essential to maintain a moderately clean and organized home. Many women want to combine this activity with a workout to lose some extra weight. We’re here to give you some tips on what kinds of household activities will help you burn the most calories and make you visibly slimmer. Here are the top 7 tasks that will help you the most.

The first step in your cleaning routine should be tidying up the rooms. You can’t start cleaning if there are beds to make, dirty clothes to put in the laundry basket and a lot of things that are not in their place. With this activity you get a shy house and burn some calories at the same time!

The second task that can keep it in shape is mopping the floors. It doesn’t matter how much time you spend tidying up the house if you don’t mop the floor. There are also things to clean up there. This activity can strengthen your arms and is a great legacy workout. You will definitely burn some calories in the process! However, if you have carpet in all your rooms, you can replace mopping with a vacuum. This is a great opportunity to work out by doing some lunges. Be careful though, the vacuum should not be used as something to lean on, it should be your balance helper, nothing more! This activity is just like doing cardio and it can definitely help you train your legs!

Another activity that can be beneficial for your legs is squatting! It probably happens to you often bending over to get something out of the lowest drawer or to get clothes out of the washing machine. The next time you do one of these things, or something similar, try to squat, instead of bending over, squats can work your thighs and legs and are one of the must-have leg activities.

You probably have a washing machine at home. Forget it! A great exercise is washing clothes with your own hands. If you spend less than half an hour washing them with detergent it is a great exercise for your hands. After they are dry, you can iron them, using more pressure. This activity helps to train your hands and arms and make them stronger and more resistant.

If you have a garden, start taking care of it more and spending more time there! According to some studies, gardening can help you burn more than 300 calories in no more than an hour. Participating in this activity helps you to have a beautiful flower garden or plant some vegetables to complete your healthy lifestyle. Try to spend more time in the garden and it will surely benefit your entire body inside and out!

You have a car? Nope? Maybe your spouse or another family member does. Washing the car can help you lose about 150 calories, which is fair. With this activity you train your whole body. You can do squats, bench presses and other leg activities, combining them with scrubbing and cleaning the car.

The latter is not just a chore or something you have to do. Taking care of your kids is one of the most enjoyable types of workouts. If you have a messy baby or toddler, then you know that you need to constantly be around them, feed them, bathe them, take care of them, etc. These activities can definitely help you lose some extra weight and burn those calories!

Legal Law

the spiritual journey

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Most of our actions have some habit or emotional impulse at their source and could be better classified as reactions.

However, conscious action is determined and directed by our thought and this has two aspects at work. The lower mind or Manomaya Kosha deals with material and concrete issues and is most active in Concentration on a material focus. The higher mind or Vijnanomaya Kosha deals with abstract principles and is more involved in Meditation.

We need a clear thinking, a rational lower mind or a concrete mind that considers black and white as very definite tools to measure right and wrong, good and bad, to evaluate and make decisions before any action.

We need the higher mind to help our understanding of ideologies and help our dreams, ideals, plans and promises of better things and equip us for self-discipline, spiritual aspiration and free access to our intuition.

Both aspects of the mind must be integrated before much can be experienced satisfactorily in meditation. And fruitful meditation inevitably leads to right action. Action is the material testing ground of the spirit. So from the heights and delights of extended and expanded higher psychic awareness in meditation, we must return to the physical or lower plane of consciousness to demonstrate our spiritual strength and skill in practical matters through our actions.

Sowing and reaping seeds of our actions, we go from incarnation to incarnation. It is only through conscious, spiritualized action that we can graduate from the school of birth, death, and rebirth with its repeated negative cyclical experiences, and move confidently into the early stages of the journey along the beaten path that others have trodden to achieve it. reach spiritual fulfillment and freedom.

The term “The Spiritual Journey” implies that we are going somewhere. We don’t sit back and become wise human beings. We must walk forward and strive and we must see that there is a goal in both spiritual and material achievement.

Amidst the many life experiences encountered along what could be considered a mountain climb, we seek regular glimpses of the pinnacle that represents Power for Supreme Good and the height of our aspiration. In Yoga is to fully develop as a creative and intelligent human being. This can be understood as the general goal, but it requires the embellishment of our imagination to awaken in us an intense desire for the highest level that a human being can reach. What can help us is our quiet consideration of our heroes, gurus, and teachers until we come to our own concept of what constitutes the ideal human being.

The lower mind requires a strong and clear image or picture of ourselves, as we would like to become, if it is to serve as a beacon amid practical disciplines and provide a reference for our actions. It also helps us hold back when we are about to react. The liberation of the soul from the limitations of the personality comes with the liberation of the habitual reaction to allow the conscious will to direct a course of action that the individual considers suitable.

A sound mind is required before consciously attempting the spiritual journey and a degree of independence of thought and feeling. We are also reminded in all the teachings that we must use the fundamental faculty of discrimination. Discrimination is the ability of a cunning personality to use the black and white square of reasoning to assess the true nature of things: being able to assess good and evil, constructive and destructive influences, and other pairs of opposing qualities.

But the most important thing is the need for a Loving Heart, without which the first step into the future cannot be taken with confidence.

Then, properly equipped, we can start that journey full of adventures. It is then, too, that we begin to experience the most serious trials and tribulations of life. These trials are experienced in the midst of everyday life and circumstances, as well as in the recesses of one’s own consciousness. It is better never to wish to escape or avoid these tests. Face them with courage and honesty having absolute faith that the Law of life is fair and just and take refuge in that Law.

Along the way we know that the landscapes of our circumstances will change, that there will be hills and valleys, rivers to cross, unexpected situations around a corner, new companions, new adventures and new delights. We will have unknown challenges to face, as well as those already on our path, and we face the ever-present enemy of our own fatigue and limited stamina.

One is tested for courage and love of life, strength, abilities and talents, love and compassion, sense of responsibility, loyalty, application to hard work, sense of justice, determination in the face of obstacles, awareness of the Laws of Nature applied to man, independence, kindness and service to others, leadership, sense of brotherhood, generosity and, lastly, the capacity for sacrifice.

Each of us must go through each of these tests, through which we come to realize our own abilities and spiritual potential. We must overcome all temptations to abuse, waste or waste our energies and talents and be tested to the fullest until we are truly free on the mountaintop, free from the need to incarnate to polish our nature and free to choose to graduate. from the terrestrial school of life or remain to teach others by our own direct experience.

Spiritual growth is like the journey of the prodigal son back home to the Father. It is like the child returning to its Father, but as a miniature or microscopic energy reflection of our Source, the macrocosm. We discover our place in the grand scheme of things.

In each life or incarnation we take 7 years to equip the body so that the karmic law is fulfilled, so at 7 years we are responsible for our actions of the body. In the next 7 year period we develop the emotional nature and at 14 we are responsible for the emotional expression of the soul. From the 14th to the 21st we are developing full control of the mind and intellect to complete our equipment for the expression of life and we are responsible to the lords of Karma for our thoughts. At 21, the soul is fully equipped, should it choose to embark on its spiritual journey fully clothed in its sheaths or garments of consciousness, alone and self-assured.

One can only know life or come to know God through direct experience. And so each soul seeks more experience to learn the meaning of life for itself and thus relate to others. The aspirant eagerly advances down a path to a future knowing that he will ultimately lead him to death when the time is right for the next stage of the spirit’s journey.

When the final earthly attainment and liberation is reached, when the goal is reached and the individual throws off the garments of his many lives, what happens to the soul, where does it go? These and many more questions remain to be answered.

But what would you ultimately seek on your spiritual journey beyond ‘graduation’ from this earthly school?

From a short speech at a National Yoga Convention Vision Valley, NSW 1975 by Sally E. Janssen

Lifestyle Fashion

What is your abusive husband’s excuse for verbal abuse?

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Sadly, I have known women who have accepted their husbands’ verbal abuse as normal, or expected and somewhat tolerated. This is often because these women were used to being verbally abused. They had probably experienced the sting of verbal abuse during childhood; they had their hearts and self-esteem pierced regularly by harsh words from parents or other caregivers.

The wife, often someone you might label as codependent and a people pleaser, accepted her husband’s verbal abuse in large part because he was familiar. But then, as a codependent woman, she also looked to her husband for a sense of identity or meaning in her life. In doing so, she had given up her own personal power. Rather, she gave him the power to use her own behavior as an excuse for his verbal abuse of her.

The verbally abusive husband would tell his wife that if she would change such and such, then things would be fine. In fact, he wouldn’t feel compelled to yell obscenities at her. He wouldn’t feel compelled to call her by her names. He, too, would not feel compelled to denigrate everything she did.

Too many women accept men’s excuses for their verbal abuse. They do not realize that some men will always commit verbal abuse no matter how closely their wives adhere to the wishes and demands of these men.

Yes, some men will always make up things their wives did or didn’t do that are suitable as excuses for their abuse.

Perhaps the woman did not do the same thing this week that he condemned her for doing last week. In other words, with this type of man, the rules seem to be always changing. The thing is, this type of man doesn’t live by the rules that his codependent wife lives by. Since she doesn’t understand this, she will remain confused. Why does he keep verbally abusing her when she tries so hard to please him? Can’t he see that she’s practically killing herself to do it?

These nice codependent wives remain committed to their pleasurable behaviors because they are certainly motivated to try to fulfill their husbands’ wishes. The point is that many of these men use verbal abuse and other forms of abuse to control their wives. They do all of this very intentionally.

The man displaying pathological levels of narcissism will not care if his verbal abuse causes his wife immense emotional pain. The narcissist lacks empathy, after all. He just wants to have things his way. He sees his poor codependent wife as an object to serve him. He is the king, while she must play the role of his most grateful and adoring subject.

Narcissists feel entitled to use verbal abuse, as well as emotional abuse, financial abuse, social abuse, and sexual abuse to control their spouses. Now, most of them skip using physical abuse, as that can get them in trouble with the law. Also, the other forms of abuse give them the results they want, and without raising the eyebrows of others.

When a man suffers from harmful levels of narcissism, he is likely to continually move on and engage in his abusive ways. He won’t apologize. Also, if her wife tries to explain how her behavior hurts him, again, he is likely to blame her. He will soon be facing her and yelling that because of her behavior, he didn’t really give her a choice.

What if he tries to move beyond his codependency and tells him that he won’t take any more of his verbal abuse? Well, again, he could puff out her chest, look at her, and increase the range and force of her abusive words. He could also erupt into a narcissistic rage: How dare she try to make the rules? She doesn’t she understand her place?

Now, there are some men who could come from backgrounds similar to their codependent wives. In other words, they were also verbally abused by the adults in their lives. These spouses have essentially modeled their parents’ poor communication skills. When they realize the emotional pain that their verbal abuse is causing their beloved wives, they may try to change their ways. And indeed, these are the men who can often be helped immensely with anger management classes, couples communication classes, or therapy.

These men will drop their excuses for their verbal abuse. But don’t expect the same from men whose verbal abuse is fueled by narcissism. Verbal abuse is too good a tool for these men to get what they want. And of course they want to control their wives and make them please them, not themselves.

By the way, the narcissist is the one who professes that it is better to be feared than loved. Did she hear her husband say that, but did she think he was joking? Well, think again. Also, you better believe that he will always have an excuse for verbal abuse of him. However, he is not going to be the real one.

He may continue to blame you or your behavior for his verbal abuse, but you will still be in a verbally abusive relationship no matter how good or accommodating you are as a codependent wife.

Might it be time to take off your codependency blinders and then remind yourself that there is never an excuse for abuse anyway? certainly, though, blaming yourself is pointless, except that it will always be on the narcissist’s mind.

Real Estate

The $100 County Auction – Part 1 of several

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Real estate, at least in Florida, has returned to being a hot market. Everyone wants to get in and it shows through Real Estate ‘Auction’ sites like Auction.com and Hubzu.com. Previously, these sites would simply work with the banks and “auction off” their REO inventory, but now everywhere you go, you’ll see these $100 minimum bid auctions being advertised on these sites and others like Zillow, Trulia, and Realtor.com.

Hey, I want a $100 property, how do I get in on this advertised action?

The REO and foreclosure industry is large and complicated, with many ways to profit and many ways to get burned. I won’t go into all the ins and outs of the industry and how to profit, but I would like to touch on these $100 auctions. County auctions are where the actual foreclosure auction of a property takes place. Yes, every county in every state has these auctions on a daily basis. Each county has its own set of rules about the days and times they auction properties, as well as whether they hold their auctions online or in person. Any county you would like to participate in will have those rules set up generally on the Clerk of Court website.

So, what are the steps I need to follow to be able to bid?

If the county you wish to participate in hosts its auctions online, you will need to create an account in that county before you can bid. Once your account is created you will need to fund it, percentages vary but let’s say your county requires a deposit of 5% of the offer price. So what that means is that you have to put 5% of your maximum possible bid into this account, otherwise you won’t be allowed to bid. You have decided that you only want to bid on properties that are $50,000 or less. You will need to add $2500 to your account. If the county you’d like to bid in has in-person auctions, you’d better come with a pocket (or briefcase) full of cash, it will be delivered at auction close.

OK, I’m done, on my first auction.

In online auctions, there are two ways to bid: you can set a maximum bid and let the software increase your bid as it is outbid, or you can view the auction in real time and bid manually. So, you’ve done your research and found the home you’d like to bid on… Did you receive a title report prior to the auction? Wow, more on that in a later post.

Today 30 houses are up for auction, your property is #17. So you wait, and you wait, and property #11, two people are manually bidding against each other and waiting until the last second to place their bids, so this property that should take about 5 minutes is taking 20 minutes. What these two don’t realize is that you can’t make a sniper bid at these county auctions, it resets the clock. So you look at them for another 5 minutes and someone finally concedes.

OK, here we are at Property #17. There are too many scenarios to talk about, so we’ll go through a few assuming you’re bidding manually.

  • Same scenario as #3, but this time you win the auction for $47,500. Congratulations, but you’re not done yet. Your dream property has no maximum plaintiff offer, is valued at $60,000 and has a final judgment of $45,000, great, you can get in on the action. Bidding starts and jumps to $45,100. OK, the plaintiff (most of the time the bank) can’t bid anymore, why don’t you ask, well that will be another post. Time is ticking and you make an offer of $45,800, the offer price rises to $45,500. The clock ticks. The bid price goes up to $45,900, suddenly someone outbid you. You make another offer of $48,000 and the offer price goes up to $47,500, now you are winning. The clock is ticking, it’s almost yours, no, the bid price goes up to $48,100, you’ve been outbid by someone who thinks they can bid you, the clock starts again. This happens for several minutes until the other person exceeds their $50,000 bid limit.

  • Dream property says plaintiff has a set maximum offer of $35,000, is valued at $60,000, and has a final judgment of $36,000, great, you can get in on the action. Bidding starts and jumps to $55,000. Shucks, I guess you’ll have to try again.

  • Dream Property says the plaintiff has a set maximum offer of $75,000 and the property is valued at $100,000 with a final judgment of $75,000. Wow, I guess I should have seen it before spending all that time and effort, you can only bid up to $50,000 with your deposit.

I won, now what?

You won your auction for $47,500. Most of the time, the auction will send you an email directly after the auction you won with a request for the total you owe (not just the $47,500) but also the fees. If you have $48,000 in your auction account, just log in and pay. If you only have $2,500 in your auction account, it’s time to move. Now you have to go to your bank, get the additional funds so you can take them to the county courthouse, deposit those funds, then go back to your computer, log in, and pay the amounts online. In many counties, you only have until the end of the day (4 pm) to pay the funds. Otherwise, you will be banned and the property will be re-auctioned. Now wait 10 days for the deed and proof of purchase. That is if you didn’t just buy a subordinate link.

I lost, now what?

So you’ve lost your auction. Unless you want to outdo everyone and money is not an issue, get used to it. There are many competitors in these auctions, including banks, and a lot of money is used. Do your research, stick to your highs, and you’ll get there eventually.

future posts

  • doing your research
  • Rules for the plaintiff
  • Coming In – Securing Your Vacant Earnings, Whoops, Yours Came With Tenants, WOW, Not What I Was Expecting To See.
  • Potential Problems With Your Winning Bid – Who Are All These People On The Defendant List? Right of Redemption – Landlord and IRS, Title Reports, Did I Just Earn a Subordinate Lien? HOA and equity lines
  • property taxes
Shopping Product Reviews

Spam – 7 steps to prevent spam

admin

I would love to tell you that I have a silver bullet to stop your spam problem. Unfortunately, one does not exist. Yes, there are hardware and software solutions that are getting pretty good, but they come at a cost.

Unfortunately, there is no easy and cheap remedy; once on a spammers list, you’ll be fighting forever. They trade, trade or sell your list to other spammers and you can never get out. A change of address is the only safe way. A lot of anti-spam products will certainly help, but you’ll always have to check your spam folder to see if there’s a “false positive” in there that you want; and learn how to “whitelist” the friends, colleagues, and discussion lists you want.

Some email providers are more prone to spam than others. This is due to a technique known as “Directory Harvesting”. Gmail is especially prone to this and many people have found that they are getting spam simply for signing up, without having sent or received an email!

Spammers know about Gmail and its popularity. Directory harvesting is the process of sending email to all possible combinations of letters with the @domainname after it.

Once again, it is a matter of payment for spammers. They know it’s popular, so they can write a program to send email to just about any combination of common names with the @gmail suffix (I deliberately omit the .com), and they know that a high percentage will be real email addresses.

After they get to the common names, they will look for other combinations. So it might help if you create an email as j#smith@gmail instead of jsmith@gmail. Unfortunately, this could also confuse the people you want to share the email with and maybe even trigger your spam filter to label your email as spam.

Why do you ask? Because spammers often change their “from” address daily, again using random characters, to thwart their “blacklist” attempt! (Better antispam software will allow you to block an entire domain, but many block only individual addresses.)

If you have a new email address and want to stay clean, or at least want to prevent your problem from getting worse, I have some tips you can follow.

7 steps to prevent spam from finding you

1. Protect your email address. Don’t give it everywhere. Use free disposable addresses (msn, gmail, yahoo) whenever possible. Maybe a second email account specifically for online purchases or even free subscriptions. There are also sources of temporary email addresses valid for a few minutes or days.

  • mailinator.com
  • 10minutosemail.com
  • maileater.com

These are just a sample, there are many more services of this type. Always use SiteAdvisor, a free service from McAfee, when looking for a service like this (or any other search). Go to “green” sites only. (See http://www.freecomputerconsultant.com/siteadvisor.html for details on SiteAdvisor.)

Give your real email only to trusted people or companies.

2. Beware of friends and family emailing large groups without using “BCC” or blind copying. Those emails are then forwarded over and over again, with YOUR email address there to be harvested from any of those computers that are infected. If you know someone has a problem, give them your gmail, yahoo, or msn address instead of the good one.

3. NEVER put your email address on the web in its normal format. Use some kind of camouflage, at a minimum “[email protected]” with a note to remove the abcxyz. Something. Be creative. This especially applies to newsgroups.

4. Be courteous with other people’s email addresses. Learn how to use BCC (Blind Carbon Copy) and when forwarding emails, remove all superfluous information, especially email addresses. Then encourage them to do the same for you.

5. NEVER open an email that you know is spam. Many emails include “home phone” programming that lets the spammer know that yours was a valid address when it was opened. That adds to the risk of viruses, spyware, and even serious damage to your computer’s usability.

6. NEVER click “remove me from your list” on a spam email. Again, that won’t get you off the list, just confirm yours is a real address so they can send you more.

7. Protect your computer. Always use up-to-date antivirus software and regularly scan for other types of spyware/malware. Some malware programs are designed to scan your address book and other areas of your PC for email addresses to add to their owners’ spam list.

Software and hardware spam filters

These filters, which can be expensive if hardware based, can certainly significantly reduce spam. But no matter what you do, there’s always the chance that a filter will create a “false positive,” that is, mark a good email as spam.

What that means is that you won’t see that email unless you check for false positives in some kind of special folder or quarantine area.

For this reason, I absolutely do not recommend any email or spam filtering service that does not give you access to suspicious spam – no filter is perfect.

And last but not least, try not to get too attached to your email address, in case you need to do an “address change”. Unfortunately, sometimes that’s the only option.

My website has additional information on home computer security

Sports

The most overrated Fiesta Bowl in recent history

admin

Well here I am, excited and ready to see another explosion at Ohio State! I mean, how many years does Ohio State have to be on public display, until it’s finally admitted that it’s one of the most overrated teams in college football? So I admit I’m not a Buckeye fan, not a big 10 fan, and as a fan of a non-BCS conference (WAC), I’m tired of being told over and over again what a great team Ohio State is. and then witnessing that once they get out of their conference and play a good team, they’re exposed. The last 2 bowl games were embarrassing for them and then the beating of USC earlier this season disgusted me and at the same time I was excited that we were going to witness it again last night at the Fiesta Bowl. I watched the game with high expectations of the Texas Longhorns, the team that many said should be No. 1 and play in the national title game on Thursday.

Boy was I disappointed! Texas’ first drive ended with no first downs and a punt and my son, Aaron, says to me, “Dad, it’s normal for a team to start slow,” to which I agreed. Then, late in the first quarter, with Ohio State leading by a field goal (3-0), I was really beginning to wonder where this highly regarded Texas team was at. I mean, this couldn’t be the same team that beat Oklahoma and played in what I consider to be the best game of the season, against Texas Tech, could it? This couldn’t be the same team with Heisman runner-up Colt McCoy!

Then the second quarter goes back and forth and finds them down 3 (6-3) at halftime and I sent an email to one of my friends that said “Sorry to say Texas is getting bombed right now.” What a disappointment! I mean, Ohio State’s Wells was running all over Texas’ vaunted defense and making them look like anything but a #1 caliber team.

Then comes the third quarter and Texas finally comes to life and I started to get excited that they were finally going to beat the Buckeyes! They scored 2 unanswered touchdowns and were up by 11 points (17-6) Yes! But unfortunately, my excitement was short-lived. In the 4th quarter, Ohio State scored an unanswered field goal and 2 touchdowns, the only silver in the lining being that they missed both of their 2-point conversion attempts, so they were only up by 4 (21-17). Then, with 2 minutes left on the clock, Texas comes to life and charges downfield, scoring a controversial 4th down conversion and scoring a touchdown with 16 seconds left, making the final score 24-21. . Although it was an exciting ending to the game, what a disappointment it was! With the exception of the third quarter, Ohio State dominated the entire game and totally battered the Longhorns! This is the same Ohio State that lost to Penn State that lost to USC in the Rose Bowl, in a much more exciting bowl game I might add. My only consolation in all of this is that the Big 10 go 1-6 in bowl games this year. I know the WAC was 1-4, but we’re supposed to be that bad, right? The Big 10 is a BCS conference and therefore top!

Texas, YOU ARE NOT A #1 TEAM! Utah would fuck you! My team the Boise State Broncos would be with you and probably beat you! Florida would destroy you and USC would crush you! After the game, Coach Brown made an astonishing statement, after being prodded over and over again by the reporter. He said that Texas could beat any team in the country. How funny! Now, if Oklahoma beats Florida in the national title game, I’m going to have to reconsider most of what I just said.

Notice I said the majority. I saw the Sugar Bowl last Friday. Utah roughed up the #2 SEC team and beat them on a neutral field, which can realistically be called a home field for Alabama, by a larger margin than Florida beat them at home. So Texas beats Oklahoma, Florida beats Alabama at home, Utah beats Alabama by a larger margin on the road. What does this all mean? It means the BCS is full of shit when they try to tell us that these teams are the best of the best.

Anyone who watches college football knows that any team on any given day (Appalachian State vs. Michigan) can win. I am a fan of bowling and love this time of year but with each game like Utah vs Pitt (2005), Boise State vs Oklahoma (2007), Utah vs Alabama (2009) and finally Texas vs Ohio State (2009) more and more more people are realizing that the BCS is a faulty system and the only real answer is a PLAYOFF. Unfortunately for us, we are not the ones making these decisions.